i brought to you a leaf,
the last green leaf of summer.
hidden small within my hand,
before the trees went under.

i brought to you a leaf,
the last green leaf of summer.
keep it near, watch it close,
it will not last forever.

some day you'll meet a boy who will love you as i do and that love will scorch the breath from your lungs and bring you to your knees.

his love will tear at your breast and dare the cold to touch the skin that he has claimed.

his love will be a fierce thing.

it will scream with bared teeth and red rimmed eyes, as storms are wont to do when trapped inside something so small as a heart.

i can feel you, you know,
lodged in there.
your weight is throwing me off balance,
is there nowhere else you can be?
my shadow is
heavy
with you.
look how it's hunching its shoulders.

maybe I could smoke you out
as I walk
through the park, cigarette in hand.
leave you caught in the branches
waiting in the dew for
some other poor soul,
some other poor fool

i could lock you out, shove you back to
where it's black and
dead.
cut off save the window
i leave open
in case
you get cold at
night

what do you think?

careful now,
you always were vicious.
your bite amatory
careful now, not so deep
if it runs too quick
i can't get it all down

my hands are shaking
so i've smudged it
here and there
but look how the words shine red.

My joints ache.
They are cold and still,
tired from lack of use.
My joints ache to hold you,
to enfold you into the
cracks between
my bones.
Between my bones there is

space

where you would fit.

My joints ache.
Hunching, they are
crude in contrast,
rough
in comparison to your own.

They creak and groan
as they act out this dance,
almost forgotten steps slow
to form.

My joints
ache.

For let's be honest,
I am too close
and too far away from
the blueprint that you
wish for.
I know you
inside
and out
and so know that the boxes I tick
are not the bones you want to hold.
I know you to your soul and so know,
unfailingly
and heart wrenchingly
that I will
never
be the one who you will wake beside
and share that feeling,
that contact
when both people have woken but are yet
unwilling to speak.