Tears of joy

Mid autumn embers

My heart extinguished

By ocean blue eyes

Our sunset love

A beauty to remember

Never dying when we close

The windows to our souls

Forever resting side by side

Eternal lovers in every life to come

We fight them
Our broken homes
Our broken parents
Our brokeness
In the hope we'll find the love
We believe we don't deserve
We argue with them
Those sworn to protect us
We cuss them out of anger
We think they don't understand
But they know
Those shoes you wear now
Are merely hand me downs
We all walked through flames
Dancing on the edge of the abyss
Carve valleys into our wrists
Try to hide bandages under skirts
We doubt the love we are given
We hope for the best
Hating the reality
Escape on the buzz
Enjoy the fuzz of life
Distort our own reality
Thinking your pain
Wasn't another's at another time
In another life
Our own self esteem
Our greatest enemy
Our worst weakness
Our inner strength
Some let go on these monkey bars
Rusted edges digging too deep
In the right direction
You're never alone
You deserve more then what you think
So don't doubt the love
You never deserve
Know the love you are given

Dear diary...
Scratch that.
I'm a grown man
Lived by the cross
Saw only sins
On this hooded streets
Bat caves of corpses
Under every bridge
Leading out of this joint
How do you get out
When your a prisoner
Serving 50 years on the streets
You become institutionalized
Watching young bloods
Becoming trees lush with potential
Get cut down by lumberjack uzis
Lost my wife and son
Drive by in the night sky
Shooting stars piercing her belly
Never even got to see his face
Didn't get the chance
To show him how to be a real man
Ten times better then his pops
Couldnt watch him grow up
How is that fair
Refused to marry again
What's the use
When bloodlines go extinct
Dinosaurs like me
Are a rare breed
Makes you wonder
What an old man rocking in his chair
Did to earn his freedom
I sold lies
Buried secrets in skulls
Then let them sink
So the fish can taste the filth of humanity
My name was Jesus.
No Christ but never was close
Confessed only once
But that was to a bottle
Popped so many pills
Almost saw hell
You learn something along the way
Death ain't the answer
Violence and warfare
Become the only thing we know
I wish I would have stayed in school
Thought I was cool
Smoking herbs and chasing tail
Reality caught up
When my homie took sail
Drug deal gone wrong
Still pour a shot for him
Everytime I play our favorite song
All I have left is a reflection
Too broken to understand
Why the good lord hasn't taken me

Thought I'd never hear it
Much alone read it
Missed
It's a feeling I get when I look in a mirror
I missed you
My other half
A reflection only subtly different
Then what I know to be me
But neither of us can do it
Both afraid
To just say hey
Maybe love wasn't the season
But a friendship
Was the ship we were to sail
Yet we rotted every board
Before we built our own Black Pearl

Not by a minute
Not by an hour
Nor a month or year
But by a second
We said sorry too late
Should have been the first thing
Before I said I love you
Before we poured our hearts out
Toasted to the *******
Drank our emotions
Drunk on each other's words
Finding comfort even if it was a myth
For a second at least
But it was too late
We already said hello
We already knew each other
Before our hearts skipped a beat
Well...at least mine
Danced over satellite signals
Sent smiles father then expected
But it was too late
Our fate was sealed
Sorry had no worth
Apologies only seemed pointless
Guilt was another fable
Yet I would have been all twelve
Knights of the round table
Had you asked
If only we were strangers again
I'd say it first
Before it lost all meaning
Before we knew what it was
To say it over and over
Curled up in corners
Rocking ourselves to sleep
Hoping we didn't write our nightmares
While they wrote our reality
If only hitting the backspace
Was permanent without a doubt
I'd have turned it black and blue
It's just too late
We lost each other before ourselves

I whisper lines in dark nights
Hoping one will stick on my tongue
So I can give you another shot
Every word another cc
Every syllable another mg
I want you to choke on them
I want foam to line your mouth
You don't know what you did to me
Forced my hand
Said love was an irrelevance
No place for me in an empty castle
That I wanted to call home
But homeless was what you left me
Now I'll leave you an addict
Waiting on every word
Hoping the next one you'll overdose on
Guess some stories aren't meant to be written
Even though I tried to write ours
Every ending was seen a mile away
All because I wasn't the drug you needed
But a distraction...