Unfinished notes,
Unheeded lessons,
Distracted mind,
Stolen glances,
Fantasies in the day,
Dreams at night,
Chasing a lost cause,
Lovelorn.
Two years later,
I’m still only two benches away from you,
Yet you are a thousand miles away.

she's outgoing and loud
yet completely reserved
she draws people in
but won’t go near them
she’s intelligent and witty
yet stupid and frustrating
she is authentic and real
but incredibly insecure
she’s honest and tough
but she is also really sensitive.

she is everything she loves
but she’s also everything she hates.

it’s funny
in a twisted way
when you finally realize
that you’re not fine
and that you have been lying.

lying to your friends
putting on a smile
pushing down that feeling
hoping that by ignoring it
it might actually leave.

lying to your family
the people who can see
something is wrong.
but no one can help
if you don’t help yourself.  

worst of all
lying to yourself
thinking that you could trick yourself
into believing those words.
but you can’t.

your smile
reminds me of seashell.

it’s pretty
beautiful, actually.
you may think
it looks like every other seashell  
but it doesn’t.
your seashell is special.

i want to keep it
all to myself.
but i know it’s selfish to
find a beautiful seashell
and take it, keeping it
locked up on a shelf.

it makes me feel
like i’m home.
that seashell reminds
me of all the times
i’ve spent in the place
i love the most.

but when you look
inside
it’s completely hollow.
there’s nothing behind
that seashell.
it’s sad just how empty it is.