My orange kitten
- is ten times more free than me;
- this much I'm sure of!

Personality is the canvas of the will


- Hadrian Veska

When you feel like you've hit rock bottom,
remember you can only go higher from there
And when the demons whisper in your ear late at night
remember they are just demons and cant hurt you.
You were strong enough to let the words into your heart,
let them go
let them out.
They are just words,
words that are meant to hurt and paralyze your brain
Words that mean nothing because you're stronger
you're better than the demon
When the pain gets so bad that you feel like you can't continue,
remember:
The pain is temporary.
And someday,
when the pain is all over,
You won't remember the pain that you thought would be there forever.
The pain won't be there forever.
I promise.
*s.m

It felt vain to believe
any possible attraction
you could have felt towards me.

I, full of various defects
could not have possibly
caught your eye.

I, tainted and full of sins
could not have aroused
any emotions of passion,
love and devotion.

The rotating cogwheels of my mind
could not fathom how any man
could look me in the eyes
and romantically declare
his undying love to me.

But you did .

he tastes of
fresh coffee and old memories
mixed together with
swallowed sentiments
that neither of us
is brave enough
to say.

my head is heavy.
my head is heavy.
my eyelashes are teensy weights
drawing me down, closing the day
but there is work to be done
even when my eyes are blurry with tired tears
and i am relying solely on my fingertips
to find the right keys to press.
(i wish there was a key to turn off my headache)
i doubt i'll get my work done.
i do that a lot.
doubt myself, not get my work done.
i always think that my future is set in stone and i'll be settled
but i really have no idea what to do
because of all this assuming- my grades will be fine, my test scores will be high.
but what if it's not, and what if i end up being a UPS driver or something?
i don't understand how everyone else is so easily ambitious
and they do all their work
and yeah they might complain about a bad test grade
but they're like robots.
they achieve, they do this and that, they volunteer and they're on student council,
they have enough money and they might not even be certain on what their future entails
but they'll be fine and i know it but i do not know as for myself.
and it drives me absolutely insane.
how?
How?