And these dark thoughts haven't left since the cold morning,
The night before I had once again tasted loneliness and his bitter sting,
And the empty dance of sweat and liquor,
The bodies lost in the night's embrace.

I have feared for my life too many times before,
A will to strike my own heart and and leave it bleeding,
I have walked this line again and again,
A mistake made three too many times.

The mistake of thinking anyone could want me,
To strip my soul of all that feels whole for a shot at empty passions,
The choice to throw myself, to be swept away in impossibility,
To believe for one second, that I could be desired.

But I am cracked, never whole, this sick soul lingers,
And I ache for the possibility that to be touched would heal my pain,
But that is no reality, and I know it is surely not mine,
And maybe I just want to feel empty.

If it means not waking up again on that cold morning.

Trust me when I say,
That all of this will wash away.
That the drought of this town,
Will be swept away with the lift of the crown.

A crown of thorn, so sacrilegious,
The darkness of you is charming and vicious.
I am swept away with the unbelievers,
The liars, the cheats, the broken deceivers.

But every one of them I love the same,
Because they are the ones who have called my name.
Swept away, oh I am swept away,
Talk me into the dark, kiss me into the day.

White stained black, a surprising mix,
I am not the one they wanted to fix.
I am not the one he wanted to love,
I am not one who is good enough to be above.

Swept away, please sweep me away,
I don’t want to stand in the light of day.
The light of day that burns my eyes,
The colored blue that hides my lies.

I am so happy you are happy, but why can't I be too?
Why does my mind ache at the very thought of you?

Why does my love weigh down on my chest like a stone?
Oh why does every little word you say cut me to the bone?

The future is a terrifying thing, so bound up in mystery,
But this moment is what feels real and I am haunted by our history.

Oh please be happy, my love I wouldn't have it any other way.
But please tell me you will touch me again in the light of day.

I look to the screen for proof of what I know,
Alone in our rooms we say what we can't face to face even though,

I know you love me, you know I love you too.
I just want to be happy, in this moment, here with you.

And the applause rings loud for your self hatred,
The audience cheers for your crippling hate.

As long as you’re funny you can’t be lonely,
If you keep up the show you can deter your fate.

Ignorance in youth, fallen from grace,
12 years at a petty game young souls and a hidden face.

Your heart breaks as the world watches,
And it makes for the most gripping show when it is up on a stage.

With everyone watching how can it be real?
With everyone looking so close they don’t see the cage.

He said you should write a poem to fix our fading spark,
He tries really hard, I can see his mark.

The green grass of our youth, so bright my flawless friend,
Opulence and paradise and heartbreak till the end.
But oh dear darling, summer's heat is gone,
And I have loved every second with you and Lana on the lawn.

Two minorities, understanding discrimination,
And a singular taste in music, no need to change the station.

But the ghost comes around to haunt,
And I have a bleeding heart to flaunt.
And I can't help that I'm a mess,
I am so sorry to have caused you so much stress,
Did I tell you how beautiful you are in that dress?

He really does love you, I can see it in your touch,
Why, oh why does seeing him hurt you and me so much?

No longer are we the lonely hearted lovers,
You have a body to hold under the covers.
But still aching for love I am just a foolish boy,
Still waking up lonely I am smashing my soul and busy being his toy.

Please still love me when I do far from what's best,
I know you love me I am so sorry for this test.

The ghost fills your heart,
My ghosts haunt my art.
And I am sorry I am fighting,
So sorry these teeth are biting,
But I promise you despite it all, I won't forget to tell you how lovely you are in this new lighting.

It’s either very late or very early,
But still as the still  moon rises I see my loneliness clearly.

Glitter and gall aren't all that they seem,
Cords are cut in love’s bright gleam.

So drink, drink, drink again,
There’s still another shot to be had,
Another love to be buried here my friend.

So breathe in, breathe some more,
Breathe in the toxin you love,
Breathe me in, oh how I do adore.

Glitter and gall, to roll the ball,
On the night it fell, I swore I had seen it all.

The neon light is her radiant drug,
A touch given lightly yet so hard to shrug.

Storm clouds gather, so drink and drink some more,
An explosion is coming so close all my doors.

Keep me safe from the ones I love,
Keep me hidden and white as a dove.

Glitter and gall,
Just dance with me into this white noise,
Flicker and fall,
In the final hour can we lose this fragile poise?

There is a dark I cannot fill,
There is an empty space, small but noticeable still.

A city at midnight, a body to hold,
Of these I dream but my mind is cold.

Have I lost myself once again?
Please, please help me darling,
One, two or three, I am in need of a friend.

He's the first person I tell,
But you are the first one I wanted,
And he is the one I don't know about,
These neon lights flash but I still feel haunted.

There is a light that blinds my eyes,
A truth washed free under these grey skies.

A body close, heat between?
A fantasy snatched from a waking dream.

Maybe I am lost, maybe I am reborn,
I feel my mind is finally free,
But freedom's cost is my own self scorn.

Beaten and blinded, now fill my ribs,
This is strange and bizarre, my body flaunted,
These are the ones that set me on fire,
Body, heart and mind, still to this day, all are haunted.