Here I am, looking up causes for headaches
at 1 am
when I know it will always come back to you.
My hands found the bottom of the ocean
as I cleaned old movie tickets out of my car today.
I can see your honesty from here.
It took my composure on its way out the door.
I’m not bitter anymore.
I’m just tired.
And I’m tired of being so tired.
I’m sorry you didn’t stay.
I’m sorry that I apologize
for all the times you didn’t.
I keep forgetting these things
are not one-sided,
I’m sorry I gave you everything
for nothing in return.
You tasted like love,
and I was parched.
It's terrible, but it needed to make its way out
I met her years ago,
I always thought she was beautiful.
Several years have passed, I see her again,
the image of her seemed to last.
Strong is our connection,
I can’t get enough of that addiction.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say we’re in love.
She’s always on my mind, she’s my drug.
It’s what keeps me from dying.
If I said I wasn’t addicted to her, I’d be lying.
She is my only true love,
and sole reason I’m even trying.
I live for her, and she lives for me.
It’s where I need to be.
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I'm looking deep into her eyes
Looking into her eyes...
is like opening a door that leads...
to another door
Wait..really? OK...I open the door.
This door leads to a long, winding path,
like the winding path of your love.
The path leads to a third door
O...K. I open the door.
This door leads to a spiral staircase
descending down, down, down, deep
into her soul.
At the bottom of the staircase is--
I open the door
The door is locked. The key might be under the mat
Seriously? I check under the mat
Nope, not there. Maybe try under the small rock next to the door
Oh for the love of...I check the rock
There is a key
Wonderful...I unlock and open the door
Inside this door is a large atrium
the glass ceiling giving way to a
beautiful summer night, the stars
twinkling in the distance. At the
far end of the Atrium, there is a curtain
Sigh I pull aside the curtain
There is a door
Come on! I open the ruddy door.
You find yourself in a long hallway,
with fine art hanging along the walls.
Crimson carpet lines the floor.
At the end of the hall is a door locked
with a combination biometric
fingerprint scanner/retinal scanner
You have 10 seconds to unlock the door
before the hunter-bots de-atomize you
What!? Ok! I try my fingerprints and eye!
The door unlocks and the hunter-bots stand down.
In the next room are three vials. Two of them contain
terrible neuro-toxins that will lead to an excruciatingly
painful death. The third will allow you to continue on
to the next room. You have 30 seconds to choose before
you are terminated
What the hell is this!?
This is the path to true love hidden deep in her eyes
No, this is insanity!
OK! Geez! Umm..Vial Number 2!
You're totally dead
Just kidding. None of them had poison...was just messing with you
THAT'S IT! I'M DONE WITH THIS
Really? There's only one more door. I swear
...Fine. What ridiculous thing do I need to do to open it.
It's already open. You find yourself in a circular room
with a pedestal in the center. On the pedestal is a hand
written note. On that note is the key to everlasting happiness
I pick up the note
You smell sweet hints of your beloved's perfume and
notice the care that each word of the note was written.
What does the note say?
Next Tuesday Only -- Buy One-Get One Free at J.J's Pizza. Cannot be combined with any other offers/coupons. Must present coupon upon purchase. Expires 1/14/14
...An expired coupon for Pizza?
Such a wonderful expression of love!
How do I get out of here...
You see a door
i turned away so i wouldn't
have to watch you leave, but
i heard your car start and
how do i breathe without you,
how do i breathe without,
how do i breathe?
i won't see him for six months and i am scared
And so the girl
Who only ever needed a friend
And a shoulder to cry on
Because she pushed them all
Slumbered scratching into a bedside notebook
lying in darkness under a thick blanket of revelation
Afraid that lamplight may blind these 3am eyes
to the dim, wispy glow of mystical comprehension
Trusting that valued mysteries will later be deciphered
from this barely legible scrawl of the night
Refusing to squander such moments of divine lucidity
captured in a poetic hand written outside the lines
Reluctant to wait until morning lest the light of day
exposes a tenuous relationship to reality
Causing rays of enlightenment to glance off its surface
in beams of obscure and superficial logic
scribbled in the dark
The silence is interlaced with notes.
Phantom notes that don't exist and yet are as real.
Colorless and yet shining in the most awe-inspiring light.
I rise with one
and there is another to catch me like a trapeze artist
before i sore again.
so in tune.
I feel detached from Time.
I used to wonder whether -
time is the proof of my existence
Or my existence the proof for Time?
But the cynic in me is now drunk in tranquility.
Yet i try to bind this experience in trivial modes of expression.
I have felt this before and am feeling it now,
My consciousness stretched across time;
a sphere that surrounds me.
In this state I AM -
creation and obliteration;
order and chaos;
knowledge and ignorance;
reality and imagination;
bound and liberated;
the experience and the observer;
here and everywhere;
im sad again
for the first time in a long time, my eyes are spilling, and my hands are shaking
and the pain in my chest won’t seem to budge
and it’s back to me wanting to run into your arms
to feel the only home and safety i ever knew, back to comfort me once more
but i never felt that home in the flesh, only through the encasing of softly spoken phone calls, and carefully chosen words
i need to feel my head nuzzled into the chest that feels so familiar
yet so heartbreakingly unreal
i need to feel the softly spoken words against my cracking lips
i need to know that you still love me
despite everything, and all the time apart
you still love me