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2.2k · Jan 2014
Determination
Reneeza Jan 2014
Have you ever felt like the world is against you?
And no matter how determined you are and
How much you persevere, you find it to be true.
They say twice as much isn't twice as good
And quantity is always going to be inferior to quality
But you people aren't even beginning to see.
You aren't seeing how twisted this world is becoming.
You couldn't care any less than you do right now.
Just humming, doing what you do, walking around.
And the sound of bitter lies seep through the mouths of these beings.
They supposedly call themselves righteous and full of wisdom.
But the world is yet to see your true colors.

The pattern is continuous and so repetitive.
It's a cycle, a sequence, a pattern.
They all know what's right yet they wander down the path of darkness
Following the dark one to his tavern
Who am I? I'm not that different except in one way.
Realization can take its toll on someone.
It's the point when you decide if you want to leave or you'd rather stay.

Have you ever felt like you can defy gravity?
Have you ever felt so invincible that no one could possibly ever touch you?
I have and that's the feeling that causes you to fall back really hard,
For it lasts for only a moment, a moment of power. And that's nothing new to you.
Look around and you shall see all the failures and successes of them.
Look at yourself and see how much more unique you are.
Refuse to let them utter complete nonsense in your ears.
Someone will come along and prove them wrong and make you their star.
The star of the universe, of his universe. And you shall see…
That's the only place you'd rather be.
But until then, do not close doors just because you are afraid
Open them and embrace the world as if it were your last day living.
Do it for yourself because all the while you could have left, but instead, you stayed.
856 · Feb 2014
Ravages of Time
Reneeza Feb 2014
Countdown to when I would see you.
Those were the days,
Days that will never come again.
Strangers to lovers then back to friends.
Never again will come those times.
I let go far before you,
I let go far before you even knew.
I'm just saying, I can play that game, too.
Hanging onto a dead branch
Knowing it'll fall at any given time.
A love that was once so divine
Has been battered with the ravages of time.
842 · Jan 2014
The End
Reneeza Jan 2014
As the heartbeat fades away
Into the silence of the room,
It creeps up on you and in an instant,
Sweeps you away like a broom.
Motions come to a halt
And just for a moment, time stands still.

You'll never see it again,
Not once, or maybe yet until...
No words spoken, no questions answered
Life now has no meaning as if it were deflowered.

He stands there looking at it all
With the snap of a finger it'll all be gone…
He's just waiting to answer to his own call
Because he knows what's done is done and can't be undone.
Knowledge in the present mind will mean nothing later
And as it occurs, not a human being can do a thing
That's who he is… He is the Taker
From him came you and to him you shall go
And you'll think, 'How can I reap if I didn't sow?'

The dreary atmosphere will give it away
But only you will feel it creeping up on you.
You'll beg and plead with him to stay
But he'll disregard you and your words and your wish won't come true.
And as you come, so you shall go
And they will never know…

A seed can grow into a tree
And just stand there mighty and strong
But for everyone to pass and see?
No, you are wrong.
The tree will provide shade to you when you need a resting place
All you'll have left is a leaf when it's gone
When it's withered up and died,
And one leaf is better than none
There will be no shady tree at your side.
So have you got your leaf today?
690 · Feb 2014
Feb 2, 2014.
Reneeza Feb 2014
Its been my birthday
You did not even call
Completely shattered my heart
The hardest fall of all.
I waited for hours and hours
Not a glimpse nor sound of you
Wondering what went wrong
And if all of this were even true.
I stayed there waiting for you
But I'm kind of glad.
I'll be the best you never had.
651 · Jan 2014
Faded moments
Reneeza Jan 2014
You make me forget all there is to worry about
Take away all the pain I feel deep inside
Not a grimace, not a grin, not a pout
Not an emotion left to hide.
The burning sensation soon turns into a mellow feeling
Breathe in, breathe out, I start to feel alive again
Finally, the soul has begun its healing
I'm looking ahead, not going back to then.

I shiver as I take another sip of wine
Nothing else matters at this point in time
I cling to the glass as the clock strikes nine
And sit back, listening to the oh so melodious chime.
Cure my mind, cure my heart
Cure me of these poisonous thoughts.
Maybe this won't work, but it's a start.

Blurred visions and butterflies in my tummy
My mind soon drifts away in the dark night
I ask myself, "What's the hurry?"
But I only have one chance to make it right.
I drink some more to calm down
Maybe it's working, maybe it's not
I start to see a smile now, instead of a frown
I've now struck my target right on the dot!
621 · Jan 2014
The Unquestionable
Reneeza Jan 2014
A sparkle in your eyes.
The uncertainty of your lies.
A kiss that grows from your lips.
The love that slips through my fingertips.
A soft touch from your hands.
A mind like mine, no one ever understands.
The words that are spewed from your mouth.
How can I possibly have any profound doubt?
585 · Feb 2014
Roses Are Red
Reneeza Feb 2014
Roses are red
The sun is yellow
This makes no sense
Cotton candy and marshmallow.

Roses are red
What color are you?
If I had to choose,
I'd be blue!

Roses are red
The grass is green
This is the best poem
You've ever seen.
567 · Feb 2014
Enigmatic... Or not.
Reneeza Feb 2014
I am a mere beginner
I know far less than you
How did I even get here?
I haven't got a clue!
I have goals just like you
But yet, I differ in many ways.
One would be puzzled, I'd say.
So without further ado,
Let me tell you.
The words in this are but a riddle.
More you read, less you know,
More display, less they show.
Oh, wouldn't you like to know?
529 · Feb 2014
Love Struck
Reneeza Feb 2014
Shower me with your wisdom
For I tend to lose it all sometimes.
At least show me some insight.
Tell me that you'll help me get rid of this fright.
Reach your hand out to me
For I can't stand on my own.
Take a walk with me,
Let's go home.
Drench me in your love
And hold me close to your chest
Let me see how far you'd go
'Cause maybe this is just a test.
So show me the light of this life
A dash of love to compliment my world
For I am a love struck girl.
507 · Jul 2014
Time Flies
Reneeza Jul 2014
Watching my life live on video
Inferring everything about me.
From tip to top I feel it's all true.
I just want to break free.
Letting me go unconsciously
Knowing I'll always come back.
Injecting myself with the breath of life,
It's like a cheat. Life's very own hack.
As waves of the sea of life
Crash upon the shores of betrayal and lies,
Washing away all the memories
I realize how quickly time flies.
483 · Feb 2014
Once Upon A Cold Night
Reneeza Feb 2014
Winter nights and snowy streets
Cold shoulders on a warm bed
Flowing through these pale sheets
Trying to make sense of the words you said.
A noisy subconscious yet silent halls
I drift farther and farther away
Yet I still hear your faint calls
Calling out for me to stay.
481 · Jan 2014
Dalliance
Reneeza Jan 2014
Only I can create that burning desire
The one that ignites at every glance you take at me
Let it burn, that eternal fire
There's no other way I'd rather it be.
Your soul wanders away to find mine
While your body is with her.
I know you're craving my touch, but you tell her you're fine.
I know that feeling all too well. Oh, my love, I do concur.
461 · Jan 2014
Contradictions
Reneeza Jan 2014
You’re all I want then you’re all I hate
You make me love you then you push me away
You’re just not right, then I think you’re my soulmate.
You tell me to go but all I wanna do is just stay.
449 · Feb 2014
Meaningless Words
Reneeza Feb 2014
Because telling you will never be enough.
Not now, not ever, will it mean a thing to you.
My words fall on completely deaf ears.
From this, a stronger willpower grew.
Maybe I have actually forgotten you.
446 · Jan 2014
The effects of Time
Reneeza Jan 2014
Mending the shattered pieces back together,
The pieces you left floating around.
I'm okay or maybe just under the weather.
I try to whisper but out comes not a sound...
Fading into thin air is the remains of what used to be
Dissolving into the swirls of time.
Grasping onto dear life, setting the inner me free.
Accepting it all, this is my prime.
A fresh breath of the future inhaled into this soul of mine
Yet strings of my heart cling to a rock
And I try and try to tell myself I'll be fine
And you know what? Maybe I will with the movement of the clock.
440 · Mar 2014
Conquered Emotions
Reneeza Mar 2014
It suddenly prevails.
The walls cave in,
Hearts breaking,
Hands shaking,
History in the making,
But it'll never be the same.

It dawns on me now.
It's finally finished.
Everything's diminished
And you ask how?
To which I have no answer
Not a word, not one.
The war is done
And I won.

And it dawns on me now.
I have conquered.
Emotions fall and I rise.
I rise to your demise.
If not now, when will I realize?
Royalty in my world, I stand alone.
Some call it hatred, some a heart of stone.
420 · Jan 2014
A New Beginning
Reneeza Jan 2014
To inhale a love so deep is to drown oneself in sorrow
Eating up all that you've conjured up inside
Living in the moment, not thinking about tomorrow
Succumbing to emotions, neglecting your pride.
They say everyone becomes a poet at the touch of love
But how true is it when all that once was is now gone?
Looking for answers, you look up above
But now all you do is just wait, wait for a new dawn.
414 · Jan 2014
Drifting Away...
Reneeza Jan 2014
With bitter, late night thoughts in mind,
Poison in my soul,
What is there to find
When love has taken its toll?
Galaxies that separate us drift further apart.
How can it end if there weren't even a start?
Riddles and puzzles arise in this mind of mine
Is this love or is this just another sign?
A sign that takes my desolate heart
Even further than those galaxies apart?
409 · Jan 2014
Dream on...
Reneeza Jan 2014
What would you do if you found out it was all just a dream?
Everything you’ve always believed in was gone…
Would you run? Would you hide? Would you scream?
It was a complete scenario that you, yourself, had drawn.
The very air that you breathe is now poison to your soul
The emotions you feel are now suicide to the mind
And you wonder what you did to end up in a world so cold,
A world of solitude, despair and no one kind.
What if I took you by a surprise and showed you something new?
Would you accept it or say it’s all too good to be true?

What if I told you there’s a world beyond this?
Will you let me in to show you it all?
Or would you be ignorant to it all? After all, ignorance is bliss.
It’s nothing tricky, just the mind screaming its call.
A world so desolate, a world so cruel
Take my hand and let me be your guide
In this journey, let me be your fuel.
Let me in, I’ll show you there’s nothing to hide.
In a gloomy grave sight, I can show you beauty
I’ll show you the lengths of ingenuity.

Dreams have ended and you’re now wide awake
You look around in hopes of seeing me
What if I were there? The answer “Yes.” is all it will take.
Don’t you want to set yourself free?
Free of all the burdens that have piled up
Free of all the flowing emotions you wish would finally stop.
Let me be that one to take it all away.
Let me be that one to make you stay.
Stay with me and have yourself a peace of mind
Stay with me, I promise I won’t ever leave you behind.
What if you realized it were all just a dream?
391 · Feb 2014
New Balance of Life
Reneeza Feb 2014
Less tears and more smiles
Less fights and more laughs
No more sorrow, just joy
No more treating my heart like a toy.
Less separation, more embracing
Less denial, more accepting
No more sleeping alone, I have you
No more wondering what to do.
Less talking and more doing
Less sulking and more living
No more stuck in the past
No more unfinished tasks.
373 · Feb 2014
Unsettling Thoughts
Reneeza Feb 2014
Stifling thoughts of the worst
As I lay here and can't breathe.
You'll never know these things
Not what I want nor what I need.
Fast asleep, you must be in bed
Drowning in wonderful dreams
While my brain throbs in my head.
Emotions flow like endless streams
So refreshing yet so sad to know
You're resting while I'm all alone...
So much affection but no one to show.
In my mind, I see you toss and turn
I hear you moan.
It's like my heart's on fire but it doesn't burn.
370 · Feb 2014
Side Effects
Reneeza Feb 2014
Take a shot and you start thinking
Take two and sit back
Take another and think some more
Now there's nothing that you lack.
It's like medicine to your body
Finally found a cure
Consumption at its capacity
You've never been so sure.
You feel the effects begin
It's gone into your blood
Traveling through your veins
It's like a ****** flood.
Flooding your mind and soul
Ridding you of all humanely qualities
Begging and pleading for a little more
Just a little more to rid the negativities.
Relaxation at its best
You've now lost control
So lay your fragile body to rest.
364 · Feb 2014
Eat Your Heart Out
Reneeza Feb 2014
I wish you could see
how happy I am without you,
and see how much better I can do;
how much better I did.

If only you could see
and let it eat you alive from the inside,
hurt you so much that you can't even hide,
hurting far more than I did.

Let it eat at your heart
like acid raining only there.
Make you scream in agonizing pain,
Get the craziest of thoughts and go insane!

Regrets piling up over more regrets,
you reminisce on memories of the past,
ponder on ideas of what could have been us.
But our denouement resulted from having no trust.
None.
360 · Feb 2014
I call the shots
Reneeza Feb 2014
My life is the world and you fell off Earth
Strayed from a clean path and into the dirt
Did you honestly think that would hurt?
My heart is the riddle and you're clueless
Trying to decipher but you're totally useless
Did you really think I would be so careless?
My mind is the book in which you play no role
Seek a confidante, for you I cannot console
Did you seriously  think I'd keep your secrets untold?
346 · Nov 2014
Take Me Away...
Reneeza Nov 2014
Watching my life live on video
Inferring everything about me.
From tip to top I feel it's all true.
I just want to break free.
Letting me go unconsciously
Knowing I'll always come back.
Injecting myself with the breath of life,
It's like a cheat. Life's very own hack.
As waves of the sea of life
Crash upon the shores of betrayal and lies,
Washing away all the memories
I realize how quickly time flies.
Reneeza Feb 2014
How long will you glue yourself to me?
How long can I even let this be?
How long before you set yourself free?
When will you give it all up?
Do you think you'll ever stop?
I'm tired of playing this game of bunny hop
I'm sick of you playing with my heart
I know forgetting you is just the start
But both of us have to play our parts.
I'd rather watch you walk away and go
I'd rather see, believe, and know
Like a slap in the face,
The truth will hurt.
What's the matter? Can't keep up the pace?
Quicken your steps, catch up!
When I start, I sure don't stop!
To what I started, I'll bring an end
Now there's nothing left to mend
Not a dime left to spend
Not a text left to send
All good things do come to an end.
327 · Jul 2014
Do you even know?
Reneeza Jul 2014
Is it hatred and resentment?
Maybe it is, maybe it's not.
Confusion and chaos in my mind,
Maybe it's not as I thought.
Searching through the pile of dirt
Expecting to find a silver lining,
Hanging on by a thin thread,
Hoping to finally see the sun shining.
With every fall, I stand again
And finally I've now let go.
I just thought you should know.
317 · Feb 2014
Insomnia
Reneeza Feb 2014
I feel lost
Then I find myself again.
I think so much
Will I fall asleep again?
Racing heartbeats
A tired body
Cold feet
And a sweet symphony.
All but a quiet night of sleep.
315 · Feb 2014
A Step Forward
Reneeza Feb 2014
A newfound haven I've discovered within you
Unexpected occurrences always seem the best
Is it all too good to even be true?
Now that, I shall put to the test!
But should I really engage in that?
Why not accept it wholly?
Better so than falling on my face flat.
And you make me complete, totally.
New memories were made
Time spent will never come back
You've come to be my jade and
Those memories are so secure,
That not even a hacker could hack.
Not much to reveal,
Not much to conceal.
All is how it is, how it should be
No one else, just you and me.
For the one who dared to put sharp, shattered pieces back together to create a new masterpiece.
305 · Feb 2014
In Another World...
Reneeza Feb 2014
Where are you?
I am here, rock bottom,
and it isn't a place
but a state of mind.
It's another dimension
where you venture out
for something you can't find.
In another world,
I am there yet I am not.
I am sane yet I am not.
I am alive yet I feel nothing.
Where am I?
Find me if you can.

— The End —