And the saddest thing is,
I'm crumbling.
Falling apart.

Are you okay?
Are you alright, are you fine, are you good?
Are you adequate, are you decent?
Are you emotionally stable, sleeping without crying, smiling because you want to?
Are you breathing without questioning, are you waking up without trying, are you eating without throwing up?
Are you reading this poem right now and thinking no?
Are you thinking for the first time, will I ever be okay?

You will be okay.
You will be alright, you will be fine, you will be good.
You will be adequate, you will be decent.
You will be emotionally stable, you will sleep without crying, and smile for the happiness blooming inside of you.
You will breathe without questioning, you will wake up to a new day, you will eat easily
You
are going to be okay.
So please smile sunshine
It’s a fine new day
To be okay :)

- a.g.

I wanna go home, but home walked away on 2 legs and blue Nikes.
I wanna go sleep, but now that I'm alone I don't know how
I wanna be warm, but warmth flew away, leaving me frozen
I wanna be safe, but the only one who gave me that, came right back at me making me feel hurt all over again.

I wanna go home I say, while laying in my bed. When even home doesn't feel like home anymore, where do I go to sleep? Where do I go to feel warm and safe?

His hair has always been my weak point.
The way it flowed between my fingers.
The way I could bury my face in his neck and feel his soft curls tingle my cheeckbone.

He's once asked me; should I cut my hair?
And I responded; Ohh hell no! If you do that I'm gonna break up with you!

Well now he's broken up with me and I guess nothing was holding him back anymore.
It's gone now, the beautiful hair that pulled me in at first. The hair that made me go crazy all those times. It's gone just as much as he's gone.

And I know I'll never get it back.
I just started wondering whether I'd want it to.

Deep breaths become chokes and gasps...
As the air seem to get thinner.
I had promised that I shall not fall today
for people to see.
But I had just realised...
That my eyes have already betrayed me.

So here I sit, out in the clear.
Out in the rain.
Face partially drenched from the spray.
Head turned away from passing umbrellas.
I thank god for the rain,
for even if they notice me.
They wouldn't be able to tell droplets from tears.

The art of letting go, is not to step over te pain.
It's not to ignore your feelings, ignore the ache.

The art of letting go, is being able to let the pain in.
Let it overwhelm you, and afterwards take control.

Because the amazing Brendon Urie once said: "being blue, is better than being over it"

I see monsters
in my head
each night when I close my eyes
There they are again
with there sharp teeth snarling at me.
help!
please!
Save me from the monsters.
Save me from these monsters.
Save me from my monsters.

She's a very special girl.

People burn themselves trying to catch her light.
People drown trying to look in her blue blue eyes.