Lonely filthy mind
it didn't match his body
My body's age behind
i cant
Restrain
the hate you make me feel
People are like mirrors
my true self is revealed
You choose someone to love
and give them all you can
If they do not choose you
you feel alone again.

I sleep with the light on, reminds me of you.

Everybody's trying to be appealing
As heaven
As love
As money
As trust
As ***
Im stressed
This test
Of life
Has me
A mess

Is it selfish to long for what one needs
Id hate to be labled by lust
And greed

Am i stupid for falling in love again
It feels like it
I dont like it

Outlast all my troubles
my demons close behind ;
To get to the end where the light of heaven shines

Apparently im losing
apparently im lost
So viciously unfocused
i fall and pay the cost

Uncanny how they breach in
My pride was like a boat
its dawning several holes
to water im exposed
then drown..

My issues give me pounds on rearrival
lately hits to ego have me feeling small as Fievel..
I feel as though im lacking
or unfit for this girl ;
They tell me play the game
while cheaters run the world..

When I speak of words that can make you believe you are nothing, of hands that hold you so tight you can't breathe, of eyes that are always there when you lay in bed at night -
I hope you don't understand what I'm talking about.

When I stand in the shower for two hours and look at the scars on my body, at the fine lines that will remain there until the end of time -
I hope you don't understand what I'm thinking about.

When I'm sitting in the passenger seat while you drive and staring at the people and places that pass us by, at the mother and father holding their child's hand while they walk down the pavement -
I hope you don't understand why I need to hold your hand for the rest of the trip.

When we're facing each other in bed, hearts beating together, and you rest a heavy hand on my face and whisper I love you -
I hope you understand why I can only answer with tears.