My chest hurts as I inhale the smoke
But the nicotine lifts a greater pain
Something born in my darkest of days
I sit on my roof
Looking out at the stars
Listening to the endless
stream of far away cars

There is something inside my soul
Thick, black, cynical and cold
But without it I would not be whole

I've tried to burn it and bury it
But relentlessly it conquered me
And not until I decided
To befriend it did I see
When I refused to acknowledge
It's existence, it was all that existed
And when I invited it in
It sat by the fire an listened

Sometimes we bicker and
Hate each other
It really likes to play with
My ticker
Most of the time I win
And it becomes as small
As a pin
Yet occasionally it demands it's
Turn to be
And I let it envelop me like a sea
We both have thrones
But sometimes I have to bow
And let it marinate my bones

My heart melts for the
blue sky and sunshine
My nose tingles at
the smell of rain
My lungs fill with the sweet
air of flowers and trees
I am Me

She cringes at sunlight and sees blue skies dull
The rain reminds her to reminisce in the pain
The air makes her lungs feel empty
She is she

People are incredible even in catastrophe
Life is wonderful even when we cannot see
And love dances with hate oh so gracefully
I am Me

People are people
People are pain
Life is pain
As long as you're
a player of its game
Love is a victim of hate
The meek shadow
In its sugary fame
She is she

I am beautiful
A piece of a puzzle
Good and evil
But still the same shuttle
I am both the rainbow and puddle
I am Me

She is ugly and wicked
Rightfully so
Karma for all those she sickened
And when grace falls she knows she will not be ripe for the pickin
She is she

I was once ill
So I took a few
Few more pills
I was once dark
Comfortably so
So I let the roots grow
I was once lost
Buying unfinished maps
At a foolish cost
I was once she
But she was never Me