When I close my eyes
I can see his half
Smile half smirk
I can see his distant eyes
That somehow find me

I can hear his laugh
And feel his strength

I remember what life was like
When he was my
backbone
How much I laughed
How tall I felt

When I close my eyes
I can feel his weight
I can feel my heart panic

My skin remembers the trace
Of his finger tips and
And how all I could do was
Freeze in place

The air felt heavy and
My tears so light

Stop.

“It’s okay. I love you.”

Stop.

And then I open my eyes.
I love you too.
I love the version of you I knew
And the version I knew was hidden

I saw your souls and there was black
And parts are unexusable
You’re actions will not be dismissed

In a number of days
The gavel will click
And the metal will swing

But you should know
I loved you so

But it was never okay

i saw you the way an artist does
brilliant and bathed in holy fire
your scars
the strokes of a brush
your anatomy every medium
your smile
a photograph in
black and white
your lips
oil on canvas
your eyes
watercolor on paper
your hair
texture and dimension
on a portrait
you and i
an unfinished graffiti
an unorthodox art form
fleeting and reflective
but a masterpiece
nonetheless

Her heart is hers
But her hand was mine
In that stolen moment
We became intertwined

Every chance we could find
I found her skin and she found mine

Breathing steady
The pace never changed
We just loved
Like it was natural
To steal a moment
Where her heart was hers
But her touch was mine

I know she thinks of another
I know it's not only in one
She has found one of a kind

But for a night her love was mine
And my love was hers
In every touch
In every breath
In every glance
We dared to take

I know her heart is hers
I don't expect it to be mine
I have my own
With stolen moments
To keep it beating and alive