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Aug 2017 · 317
reabetswe Aug 2017
after everything that happened
I still find myself running back to you
to find comfort for everything going bad in my life
I don't know what's it about you that makes me long and crave for you this much
I'm scared of telling you how i really feel about you,how much you make me whole, and keep me sane
But I can't help thinking
what if you lose interest again?
what if you stop loving me when i need you most?
what then?
I'll always carry you in my heart
I wish we could go back to how we were before, how you looked at me and always made sure i were okay
I love yo for everything you've taught me
and I hope one day you find your true love
one who won't be want to let go of you like i can't let go too
Relationships teach us a lot in life. I only wish there weren't any heartbreaks, long nights of crying, because of all the hurt we encounter. Loving someone is something special. You get to feel like a whole new person. Love love
Feb 2017 · 233
reabetswe Feb 2017
Maybe being hesitant to vulnerability ruined me
maybe keeping to myself makes it more easier
because only then I feel at ease with myself,
and maybe a little content
I used to want to do this to run away,
*** away from all the hurt
because the hurt was like poison
Feb 2017 · 243
reabetswe Feb 2017
I still linger at the scent of you,
the smell that assured me of a better tomorrow
but that was then, and this is now.
Memories slowing fading,
and the need to keep check up on you is no longer
I'm sorry we were never good enough,
good enough to make you want us to be forever
But I can't help you be a better you
I wish you find your moment
It's okay to want nothing to do with your family, because even family isn't forever.
Jun 2016 · 302
reabetswe Jun 2016
I long for you to notice me,
but why should you?
I thought we had this figured out, but
life is too blur rn
you'd rather just pass me by
like you never longed to hold on to me
love makes me numb. #BeMine #I'llBeYours
Jun 2016 · 226
reabetswe Jun 2016
I was almost free, but you, you
denied me everything. I wish
it was easy to explain why I was never at
ease, maybe the bitterness had
gotten the better of me. I had
never imagined it would be this hard
we hope for for the best always, but
we lose a part of ourselves
while trying to make it,
and almost living
I hope I reach happiness and peace before I die. at least in my last breaths. - sw
Jun 2016 · 230
reabetswe Jun 2016
I thought I had everything I wanted,
actually I did had everything,
but everything was nothing.
I wanted to be just an average girl, but
my dreams were too much for me to be average, even I, myself felt too burden by everything happening around me.
everyone thinks you're having it easy
until you're one cigarette away from drying, only then do people
see you're human too.
the truth makes us numb. we get so tone when people tell us how selfish we are, but sometimes we're not the selfish ones. life just happens.
Jun 2016 · 266
An air of melancholy
reabetswe Jun 2016
I finally understood,
why I had always kept everything
to myself
it was for me, so the peace can be the only thing we breathe
life itself kills us, or maybe just me
the cut was too deep now
I just couldn't stand the pain
I was longing for life, but if life was pain,
then I didn't want this life
Nov 2015 · 299
reabetswe Nov 2015
The pain lies deep within
is it all worth it?
I don't think so.
I don't think all the cuts will ever make me feel better
all these drops of blood make me want to surrender.
maybe it's time to succumb
Nov 2015 · 692
reabetswe Nov 2015
I'm trying to save you.
why are you holding back?
what is it that you're scared of?
why have you stopped begging for life?
is this how it's going to be now?
are you about isolation now?
you give me life.
I can't lose you.
just not now.
give me your hand and let me help you.
you're my forever, forever.
don't put out the fire inside of us
I still flame for you
Nov 2015 · 449
waiting on the sunlight
reabetswe Nov 2015
it's so dark in here
I can't even feel myself.
I'm waiting on thee, sunlight, to save me from being served a milkshake of melancholy.
what has become of my life?
I feel weak
the numbness is sinking in
I can't wait to run into the sunlight
because, only then would I be able to
- reconnect.
Mar 2015 · 335
reabetswe Mar 2015
without him I wouldn't be here
he was a goddess
his lips
his eyes
his smile
his soft skin
the way he carried himself..
he was everything

he was everything I had been wishing for
there was something special about him
he knew how to keep me at ease
how to keep me sane
how to keep me happy

he was my one and only
perfect muse.
Mar 2015 · 466
false hope
reabetswe Mar 2015
The urge to let him know how I really felt
I chose to follow my heart
It was the only chance I'd ever get to tell him how madly in love I was with him..
How he had cast a spell over me
he was all I could think about

I walked up to him so we could talk, talk about us...
but no, all he wanted to talk about was my friend
the very same friend who always said he had a repugnant attitude.
why? Why talk about her? Why not talk about me? What was wrong with me?
I guess I was stupid..
stupid to have thought he felt the same way as I did about him
I walked away, away from the shame and hurt
I shouldn't have let my heart deceive me..
Mar 2015 · 643
reabetswe Mar 2015
Why is it untitled? Because I haven't a clue what to call it.
I never thought I'd be doing this. I never thought I'd be so elated and relaxed.
I had only wished I would make it this far.
I had only wanted to go unnoticed.
Fitting in was all I was about, but I realised it was really about understanding and getting to know yourself better.

the days of feeling unappreciated had  come to an end.
It was all about me now.
Where I was going and how I was going to get there..
Mar 2015 · 513
my hero, my one and only.
reabetswe Mar 2015
I had learned to live without him,
but that sunday afternoon was too heartbreaking
my only hero, had left me.
how was I to carry on? was it going to be easy? no.
but there was nothing that could be done
I was never at ease..
shattered, my soul pureed to me in a milkshake of melancholy
but I carried on
and im still standing strong today
I moved on, and it was the only thing for me to do..

— The End —