You remember the donkey
I bought some time ago?
Well, I stopped feeding it for a week
and the stupid animal died
just as it was finally learning to survive
on clean air, positive thoughts and vibes

(1)
There’s one thing I must get off my chest
that’s bothered me now
even 50 years on
with the passage of time –
my English teacher then
she always told me when I grumbled
homework was too difficult,
she’d tell me: “That’s a piece of cake”
And I’d go home discombobulated how
anyone could eat paper
or homework
and she said this not once, but every time:
“It’s a piece of cake”


(2)
And my parents and I looked at it
every which way and from every point of view
and concluded in our Perfect Ancient Native language:
“This English teacher is a loony. She is wooly-headed.
She is the lamb Mary lost, silly and muddle-headed.
How can homework be a piece of cake?
Anyway, we don’t eat cake – we eat samosas.”

(3)
And yet the English teacher would put her nose
up in the air
and remonstrate: “It’s a piece of cake!”

Oh yeah, would you like tea with it?

Now, my parents, bless their Ancient Souls,
have gone on into the next world
And I’m left wondering about the secret madness
of that English teacher
who’d ask me to eat cake when I expressed genuine concern…

Well, my parents have passed on, as I said,
and I’ve moved on
as is plain and radiant to see
to master idioms and vocabulary
Punctuation, the catenative verb and Usage;
and, as for that wooly-headed English teacher,
I’m sure she’s moved on into
a comfortable nuthouse
where the staff makes her eat her cake,
and make her think she can have it too -
cos that’s what they do to nuts, and such instances

(4)
And now that I have got that off my chest,
I can comfortably resume memorizing
Volume 3 of theOxford Dictionary
as  I perambulate
and copy 100 entries from Fowler’s “Modern English Usage”
as I victulate
which is all part of my nightly ritual
since she told me to do so some 50 years ago
(cos I happened to look at her Union Jack knickers
when she sat high on the table, and I stood up *****
cos that's what they made us do in the cinemas)
- and that helps to put me into a state of dormancy, to hibernate
till the sun ushers in a new day for me  –
and a new cake for that wooly-headed English teacher,
she, I can presume with certainty,
elegantly reposed and superannuated


Now, I’m glad I’ve got this off my chest
and mastered my idioms and phrases
and I can go eat my samosas

1
I take a day off and
I drive my grandma to the mall
You’re the best grandson ever, she says
You make time for me

And so she walks from shop to shop
armed with her shopping list
She throws each item into the trolley
and ticks off against her list
Two hours, three hours, four pass
and she smiles to me and says:
We’re done! Let’s go…

2
And so we go to the car
and I help her load
every item in the boot, and in the back
and just then, she says:
Oh, no – we got to go back;
there’s one more thing I’ve got to get!

But grandma, I say,
You had a list and ticked off each item
and you’ve bought everything

But you silly boy, says Grandma
*I haven’t bought you anything
Because I forgot to put you on the list!

everybody shaves
so Warren Buffet invests in Gillette;
and every country drinks
so he also buys Coke shares -
which leads me to my own investment strategy

Every human sheds forty thousand
skin cells an hour
That’s forty thousand cells times 7 billion humans
each hour–
you listening? -
now that’s a lot of dust;
and not to forget the many cultures and nations
that cremate rather than bury
and that releases from each body in the barbecue
1.6 trillion cells of dust -
it’s a ****** dusty world, isn’t it?
so…I’ve got it all worked out…
*I’m investing in vacuum cleaners…

My husband
is a bozo
He always blows it

Just last night,
we got into a taxi
and he went back to the house
to let the cat out
and while waiting
I told the taxi driver
who asked what was happening:
“Oh, he’s gone in
to say good night to my mom”
(sure I lied, there was no one in –
but I  didn’t want the taxi driver to know that)

And soon my husband got back into the taxi
loud and boisterous and cursing as usual:
“Oh, sorry I took so long…****! That
stupid thing was hiding under the bed
and I had to push her with that broomstick
and then I used the bamboo pole
to get it out of hiding!
I was gentle and careful, of course.
She can sometimes be a *****!”

We’re at the shops
and Tim runs off of to the escalator
and Mum shouts to him:
You stop there!
And Tim freezes
like ice got hold of him
And Mum pulls out
the flap over the pram
and helps baby Didi
with the milk bottle
and I scream to Mum:
Let me go;
I want to go to Tim!
But she pulls hard at the rein
and I can feel it tighten
round my waist
a little
And I scream:
Mum! I want to go!
And she says:
Jill -
be quiet and still
as my shadow!
And from the distance
Big Tim screams:
Mom! Can I go?!
And Mom screams loudest:
You come here
and stand right beside
your sis Jill!
And we’re all together again
baby in the pram
Mum standing beside
and me on the rein
And Tim sulking at the side

And nobody else
from the crowd dares
come near
for they all know
my Mum -
she’s Wonder Woman
she’s Super Hero
cos my Mum’s supermom

Yeah guys, just back from the doctor’s
Turns out he’s worked at Apple
and Samsung and such –
he’s really into technology and all that,
you know
the latest stuff, really
“The heart,” he pronounced,
“is really a technology”

anyway, he’s given me
a pacemaker for me heart
and the doc, he said also
it’s state-of-the-art technology
so I can also download apps for my liver,
kidneys and my bowels
if needs be
yeah, I really feel good
inside out and all the way down

my girlfriend moved in
but she left with a huff and a puff
when she realised the truth

the truth dawned on her
when she heard
the parrot repeat
after just two months:
"What's for dinner?
What's for dinner?
What's for dinner?"


she left; now it's just
me and my parrot again
and all my ****** parrot says now is:
*"**** you, parrot!
**** you, parrot!"

my wife is stupid -
that I found on our first day -
she loves poetry

I have no books at home
and the closest library
is mountains away;
and she sold my prize-winning cow
on her second day
for a book of poems -
that silly cow!

But I did nothing
nor will I berate her
for truly I vowed at our local church
to love her for *butter or verse

You know women
they go shopping
and they fill the whole trolley
overflowing
they never know when to stop;
they’re such exceptional shoppers

my wife’s no exception
and so I thought
I’d get her on to online shopping
(you know, using man’s intelligence
to beat women’s frivolity)
Will save me time and save us money,
I thought
But just as well, within the hour,
I had to enlighten her
about online shopping protocol:
“When the computer asks you if
you’d like another shopping cart
it’s a subtle message
you should stop”


Oh, why do I always get beaten?

NOTE TO POET, RAT ALUMUGUM:

Dear Sir
I saw your profile
on this site
I love your
profile
and methinks
I fall in love with you
you can send me
email
my email address is:
realhotsexbomb@badmailgirls.com
Write 2 mee
and I slew you my ****, **** pix…
and maybe we can live happily ever after




DEAR REALHOTSEXBOMB:

I want to write to you
and give you all I got
but since the last time I gave all I got
I think it was to dirtybombgirl
my wife sits beside me
at the computer
and makes me read aloud every note
and every item on the screen I see
and she forces my fingers on the keypad
and she says –
her words, not mine
and her misspelling, not mine
and her opinion of me, not mine:
"Get off my idiotic man
u beach!
Don’t you steel him
and his money;
God knows
I've waited long enough
for him to die!
Go find some other sucker;
this sucker is mine!"

(1)
I posted a poem
at hello poetry -
and what happened?
Somebody started following me

I received a "notification"
(I can’t say “much to my gratification”)
that someone started following me
I think it went something like:
“Naked Blueberry started following you”



(2)
Oh what did I do?
What did I dodo?
All I did was to post a poem
and not a word from you -
O cruel menacing follower -
not a comment
not an expression of your displeasure
but you started following me
What did I do?
What did I dodo?



(3)
Sure
I may tell bad jokes
and write verse
that daily gets worse
Yeah, I may look ugly like I stole
a look from my fav Mad magazine
and once in a while I say something
about organisations -
but does that warrant you
following me
and transforming me into
a near-nervous wreck?

O Naked Blueberry
what did I do?
What did I dodo -
why do you follow me, you naked stalker?
I lie in bed now afraid
and my wife worries that
I cry out often in sleep:
“Hence, You Naked Succubus -
Follow me not!”
And I dare not approach my car
but after looking under bonnet
and boot and below the carriage
I dare not write a word now
but fear that you and your agents
will follow and stalk me
with ne’er a word, ne’er a warning

At least tell me, please O follower
O Naked Blueberry, O Protean Terminator
O **** Redberry  
and all the others in various guises
(I know you guys are all one person,
namely Lily Raw and Ready)
- tell me why you follow,
show me cause of your anger
O what did I do?
What did I dodo?
What should I do?
What should I dodo?

1)
See, **** Susan is on holiday
and she's made her way
to the hotel roof
on her second day
**** Susan takes off her dress
and in her bikini
she sunbathes on the roof
"Ah, this is the life," she says
"The sun and the roof all to myself"

2)
See, **** Susan on her third day
this time
sunbathing stark naked
on the roof
and she turns over
with her buttocks to the sky
and the native  hotel bellboy
comes running up
and panting
and from an official distance he says:
"Madam, I humbly beg you
put on bikini at least
like you did yesterday"

And see **** Susan smirking
and she says:
"What's the problem,  kid?
No one's gonna see me here"

"But madam," says the cringing native
*"You are lying face down
on our high-tech one-way vision
dining-hall skylight roof"

1
the Emir has it in his head he is a poet
and the Emir invites Nasrudin
to an assembly
and the Emir recites his poem
with much ado,
with much loudness and gestures

everyone applauds the Emir
for his poem
but Nasrudin is quiet
and the Emir turns to Nasrudin and says:
“So, Nasrudin – what do you think
of my poem?”

“Sir,” says Nasrudin
“What you recited is not a poem
and neither does it make you a poet”

“Guards!”
screams the Emir
“Take this man Nasrudin
and put him in jail!
Three months let him be there!”

2
Three months pass
and Nasrudin is released
and is invited again by the Emir
to another of the Emir’s recitations
and again the Emir recites his poem
with much ado,
with much loudness and gestures

and again everyone applauds the Emir
for his poem
but Nasrudin says nothing and stands up
and walks towards the guards
and the Emir shouts at Nasrudin:
“Nasrudin – where do you think
you are going?”

And says Nasrudin:
“Sir – I’m saving you the trouble;
I’ll send myself to jail…”

1
Bang! Bang!
****-gang! ****-****,
Ting-a-****!

O, all day
Nasrudin
is making all this din
in his home
beating drums and his pots and pans


Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Hee-haw – haw!haw!haw!
Hee-haw!

And his Donkey too
all day
master and Donkey
making all this noise

2
O Nasrudin, why
do you make this din and noise -
you and your Donkey
all day long?


3
O, says Nasrudin,
Donkey and I are
trying to frighten away
all tigers and wild animals
to keep away from our town

But Nasrudin – there’s isn’t a single tiger
or a wild animal
a thousand miles
round our town!

See! says Nasrudin
Our method works!

Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Donkey agrees

See, Nasrudin sits eating
dates…
Oh, but do you see?
Nasrudin eats the seeds too…

O Nasrudin, Nasrudin
why do you eat the seeds as
you eat the dates?

O, says Nasrudin,
*because the merchant who sold me the dates
also charged me for the seeds

See, Nasrudin is standing
on the other side of the river
let’s ask him,
let’s ask
how we can get across

Hey, Nasrudin!
Tell us how we can get
to the other side of the river

But* – replies Nasrudin –
*you are already on the other side of the river!

Nasrudin is in his early twenties
and he works at the warehouse

See, each worker
lifts 3 sacks a time  
and puts them on a pile
and walks back for more

but see Nasrudin
how he works -
he carries just 1 bag
and puts it on a pile
and walks back for 1 more

Now, says the foreman
Why is it you only carry 1 sack
When others carry 3 at a time?

Sir, says Nasrudin
*I carry 1 bag a time
and make 3 trips in all
But the others
unlike me
are just
too lazy to make 3 trips

It is night
Nasrudin walks
in the moonlight
He hears horses
Thieves! Murderers!
thinks Nasrudin
and jumps over the wall
and hides in an open, unused grave


The horsemen stop;
they have seen
a man jump into the grave
and they are concerned:
Are you all right, Sir?
Why are you in the grave?

And Nasrudin answers as quickly:
*Why am I in the grave?
That depends on your worldview.
I am here because of you
and you are here because of me!

when Nasrudin was little
his teacher interrupted his lesson
and shouted at Nasrudin:
Hey, you - boy
in the front row!
Are you nodding off
into sleep?

No, Sir, said Nasrudin
*I'm trying very hard
to stay awake!

Nasrudin rides his donkey
and is stopped in the streets
by a neighbor

O Nasrduin, says the neighbor
I have been wondering long
and you might offer an answer…
tell me: What is the meaning of life?

And Nasrudin’s donkey brays
aloud and brave:
Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

And Nasrudin says to the neighbor:
*I believe my donkey has answered your question;
and now, if you will excuse me,
it’s time for me and my donkey to move on…

1
Come, come all
O all neighbors and children
O come and gather in the streets
or be at your window
or at your door
O see Nasrudin on his donkey

2
O…see Nasrudin!
O…see his donkey!
O – Nasrudin is seated on his donkey!
O – see Nasrudin and his donkey:
donkey faces one way
and Nasrudin is seated
facing the opposite way!

3
O Nasrudin, why does donkey
face one way
and you are
seated facing the opposite way?

4
O, donkey and I cannot agree
which way we want to go -
and so neither follows the other!

O Nasrudin
asks a man
tell of us ritual
and proper procedures:
Which side should I stand on
when I carry a coffin:
on the right, the left,
in front or at the back?
O Nasrudin,
which is proper?


O, dear friend,
says Nasrudin
it doesn’t matter;
just make sure you’re not
inside the coffin!

Nasrudin looks in the magic mirror
that allows him to peep into the future
and he sees many marvelous poems in cyberspace.

So Nasrudin calls his Donkey and he says to Donkey:
See, Donkey – there are so many marvelous poems in cyberspace.
They are beautiful poems.

But Nasrudin’s Donkey says:
Hee-haw! - what’s the use? As far as I’m concerned
the only good poem  is the one printed on paper.

And why is that? asks Nasrudin.

Because, at least when I’m desperately hungry, I can eat paper –
but I can’t eat cyberspace can I? replies Donkey.

1
it’s graduation day
and the teacher gives awards
to each :
a book to one
a staff to another
silk or precious stones;
and to Nasrudin
the teacher
gives a donkey

2
It is some years
and the teacher
hears of Nasrudin’s fame
and comes to visit
the House of Prayer Nasrudin oversees
and to pay homage to the Saint
buried just beside

3
O Nasrudin,
says the teacher -
how great your fame
and vast your following
Tell me, which Eminent Saint  
is buried in the mound
beside the House of Prayer
you oversee?

O Master,
says Nasrudin
It’s the donkey
you gave me
It died just 4 years after
and I buried him here
And everyone wants a Saint
so I have not disabused people
of their faith

4
The teacher nods with a smile
and Nasrudin continues:
But tell me Master –
which Eminent Saint is buried in the mound
beside the House of Prayer
you oversee?

Ah, Nasrudin, says the teacher
*though people believe it’s a Saint
it’s really your dead donkey’s mother

1
See, Nasrudin leads his followers
through the streets and alleys
through the markets and the houses of prayers;
and see, Nasrudin shakes his head and ***
and all his followers shake their heads and bums;
see, Nasrudin sticks out his tongue and rolls his eyes
and all his followers stick out theirs and roll their eyes
and Nasrudin shouts:
Hee hee ** ** ha!
And all followers shout:  
Hee hee ** ** ha!


2
And the Visiting Intellectual asks Nasrudin:
What are you doing
leading these people like donkeys
through the streets?

And Nasrudin replies:
I am leading them, Sir
to Heaven or Enlightenment as they will

And how, queries the Intellectual
will you know
they have reached Enlightenment or Heaven
as they will?

Each day, Sir, says Nasrudin,
*I look to see who is no longer following
and such ones have reached Enlightenment
or have gained Heaven, as each desires…
and now Sir, if you don’t mind,
I must go lead a few more hundred
running round the coconut trees
screaming:  
Hee hee ** ** ha!

see
Nasrudin walks
along in the streets
and sees a mirror
lying on the kerb

Oh! what a waste, says Nasrudin
a good mirror thrown away
like this…

Nasrudin picks up the mirror
and looks in it
and then throws it away:
*No wonder
they threw this mirror  away!
What a face!
Who’d want to look
at a face like that!

1
Nasrudin rushes into
the House of Prayer and
mumbles a quick prayer
and gets up just as quick
to rush off

Wait! commands the Chief Priest
in the House of Prayer
Say your prayers again -
slowly and with dignity!

And so Nasrudin follows instructions
and says his prayers slowly and with dignity
and then he asks the Chief Priest if he can go


2
Yes, says the Chief Priest
And don’t you think
the Mighty Lord is pleased
with your prayer slow and dignified
rather than the hurried
and quick one you offered first?

Not really, says Nasrudin

And why is that? asks the Chief Priest

Why? asks Nasrudin
*Because my first prayer was for God;
the second was just to please you

1
Nasrudin rushes into
the House of Prayer and
mumbles a quick prayer
and gets up just as quick
to rush off

Wait! commands the Chief Priest
in the House of Prayer
Say your prayers again -
slowly and with dignity!

And so Nasrudin follows instructions
and says his prayers slowly and with dignity
and then he asks the Chief Priest if he can go


2
Yes, says the Chief Priest
And don’t you think
the Mighty Lord is pleased
with your prayer slow and dignified
rather than the hurried
and quick one you offered first?

Not really, says Nasrudin

And why is that? asks the Chief Priest

Why? asks Nasrudin
*Because my first prayer was for God;
the second was just to please you

1
stand up, children
stand up and wipe those tears;
smile and laugh
in your love
of the fields and the stars


smile and laugh
little darlings;
smile and laugh
in your love
of the birds and trees
and the streams
and the creatures
of the earth

smile and laugh
in your love of the clouds
and the sunshine and the berries
and the flowers
and the butterflies;
smile little children
with that love
that is radiant in your hearts


stand up, children
stand up and wipe those tears;
smile and laugh
in your love
of the fields and the stars



2

stand up, children
stand up and wipe those tears;
smile and laugh
in your love
of the fields and the stars


though all things may pass
and all things may change
and iron hands
and powder powers
bring chaos and bareness;
and these things may hurt
even those light hearts of yours -
still, delicate angels,
there is love
in your darling hearts


so bring them your love
of the sunshine
and your love of the trees;
bring them your love
of the land
and your love of life

bring them your love
of the skies
and your love of the bees;
bring them your love
of the streams, air and earth

for the love that you have
that is oneness
that love never passes;
that is the love
that abides always
in all change and passing


stand up, children
stand up and wipe those tears;
smile and laugh
in your love
of nature and the stars

Nero kicks Vespasian

1
Nero plays the lyre
He’s Emperor
so all must admire
but Vespasian goes to sleep
so Nero exiles Vespasian
and poor Vespasian now minds the bees

I am the Emperor
and all must admire
when I sing
or play the lyre
for I’m also a god...




Time kicks Nero*

2
But Nero goes to extremes
Rome burns, Nero kills
and soon events turn against him
and the Senate declares him
Enemy of the State
and Nero kills himself;
and the beekeeper Vespasian
through events played staccato by time
becomes Emperor Vespasian
and begins construction of the Colosseum

And Emperors too die
and I think I’m dying
Hey - help me up
for an Emperor must die on his feet
And hey! you know what?
I think I too am becoming a god!

DANCING MAN:

My right foot up
and my left hand on my head
Oh this sake
brings me Heavenly fever;
sake purifies my heart
and the gods are pleased
and I dance
like the Shinto spirits of old



MAN with the CUP:

Oh, drink and be merry
be lifted high in the air
by sake and its spirit;
the Toji has done well
a master brewer he;
and dance you well
in this ecstasy
and while your eyes
are towards the gods
I'll steal a sip or two
that shall build into
more than a cup for me:
*O dance in the spirit of sake -
another cup I hold ready
for you, always

What's this poem about?

not about this
not about that
no views
no judgment
no aspirations
no declarations
no proclamations

never teach English -
you’ll always end up gibberish*

1
the student wrote:
“Its find to one two tock to strainers
four eat wheel improof you’re languish”
but the teacher of English
patiently attempted to teach
the proper way it is written:
“It’s fine to want to talk to strangers
for it will improve your language”

but the student insisted:
“Its find to one two tock to strainers
four eat wheel improof you’re languish”
and the teacher persisted:
“It's fine to want to talk to strangers
for it will improve your language”


2
for months the teacher persisted
in spite of her trauma
(maybe it was her karma) -
and at last after six months
the student learned to write:
“It’s fine to want to talk to strangers
for it will improve your language”

So the teacher of English *succeeded

but now for years it is the teacher who writes:
*“Its find to one two tock to strainers
four eat wheel improof you’re languish”

nights are fun
such fun -
it’s clear to see

1)
ask Jim
who stayed awake
all night
pondering over
what had happened to the sun
and in the morning, it finally dawned on him

meanwhile his pa
was outside driving
and he drove into the lake
cos he wanted to *dip his headlights

Jim’s mother, on the other hand,
slept on the edge of the bed
cos her doctor told her
(cos she complained
she could not sleep)
to lie on the edge of the bed
and soon she’ll drop off!

and the sister, Susie,
she stayed awake
eight days without sleep
and yet she remained alert and fresh–
and you wanna know how she did that?
Oh, easy - she slept at nights.


nights are fun
such fun -
it’s clear to see




2
see even nature’s creatures
in Jim’s backyard
even they had fun

the wolves had a party all night –
and all **** sapiens in the area agreed
it must have been a howling success

and the glow-worm
it bumped into a tree
and you can bet your own *** –
the glow-worm was de-lighted!


*nights are fun
such fun
it’s clear to see

you know
that little bird that’s
on the tree
and sings when it wants to
and then just sits
just looking about?
you’ve seen that thin cloud
in the vast clear blue sky
that little wisp of cotton
that seems so aimless
and so pointless?
have you seen it?
and that small leaf
that appears overnight
perhaps on a creeper you keep
in a small vase at your desk?

well, I just breathe and go like that -
yes, I do what must be done
like brushing my teeth
and going to the supermarket
and withdrawing money
and making some -
but mostly I’d float like the cloud or
grow like the creeper or chirp like the bird
and I have no more time than the present
and no awe for anything or anyone
and I have no ambition for eternity either
so thank you very much

nobody likes me;
I've known that since long time back
and used to be that I was wounded and worried
could not sleep the nights
could not eat meals complete
cos I knew always
nobody likes me, poor me
and nobody clicks on 'like'
on my page;
and Oh - I got thin and gaunt
and then it was I decided:
OK - hell - I don't like anybody
and we're equal - there, we're done!
Go jump in the well all of you
cos I know you don't like me
and I don't like you
(you like you, I like me)
and I suppose you'd tell me jump too
All right - I'll do -
just don't jump into my well
so find yourself one for yourself
since I don't like you
and you don't like me
it'll be unbearable
sharing the same well

so this neutron walks
into the local convenience store
and grabs 3 cans of beer
and says to the girl at the counter;
“So how much do I owe you?”
The girl smiles:
*“For you, no charge”

I told my mind
(using the principles of creative bidding):
"All right;
let's two write
some nonsense verse
O Mind of mine, be silent awhile
and draw from the deepest recesses
of your profundity
some short nonsense verse"

and the Mind answered
with desperate urgency:
"But what have we
been doing all this while?"

the visiting speaker is at the end
of a brave, unconventional lesson
on self-esteem and confidence
"Does anyone in this class think
he or she is stupid?
Stand up anyone
who thinks he or she is stupid"

the seconds tick away;
there is no response
and then little Tommy stands up
and the guest speaker says:
"Do you stand up because
you think you are stupid,  Tommy? "

"No, sir," replies Tommy
*"I just feel sorry to see
you standing alone"

(Punch comes home. Judy, his wife, kisses him and asks about his day.)*


Judy:
How was your day at work , darl?

Punch:
Not a good day, sweetie…

Judy:
And why was that, Punch?

Punch:
Oh, the Boss is just overbearing

Judy:
What did he do this time, sweetie?


Punch:
Oh well, he comes in to my table
this morning, right,
and he asks me: “Punch, do you believe
in the after-life?”
An odd question to ask, you’d agree…
Anyway I say: “I do, Mr Blake –
I do believe in the after-life.”
And he says: “Oh, I’m glad you do…”
And he continues:
“Yesterday you asked to go home at noon
You said your grandpa died
And guess what? – 4 hours after you left
a man claiming to be your grandpa
came here looking for you
Said he was in in the vicinity
and he might walk home back with you
There’s sure such a thing as after-life, Punch!”

And all day Mr Blake was having a go at me about ghosts
And all my colleagues too, they were going: “BOO!”
at every chance they got…
Oh, what an embarrassing day…


Judy:
Oh, so you lied to get a half-day off, Punch?
And where were you?
You didn’t come home early yesterday…
Doesn’t look like your day is over, Punch…
Certainly not a good day!

Dear Algebra Teacher -
stop asking us to find
your X
We can’t help you
if you mess it up

Next time, treat your partner nice
so you don’t have
to bring your personal problems
to class

So stop asking us to find your X;
we don’t know if you’ll ever find her
and we got a feeling your X
is never coming back
and really -  before you ask -
we don’t know Y either

below are notes from various people (all imagined) to Karma...

NOTE 1
Dear Karma
You're doing a great job -
people are in deep **** as they deserve
But what I don't understand is -
why me too?

NOTE 2
Dear Karma
I've got a hit list
of people
you've missed

NOTE 3
Dear Karma
I can see so many ambitious
becoming downright failures
as they justly deserve to be -
but how come
I'm still at the bottom of the ladder?


NOTE 4
Dear Karma
Life's not fair  -
I punched the guy next door
straight on his tummy
and he broke my arms and legs


NOTE 5
Dear Karma
You're somewhat erratic
I invited the beggars into my house
and they stole everything
Is that how it's supposed to work?
I don't see my reward in this;
I don't even get to be famous like Mother Teresa

NOTE 6
Dear Karma
All the baddies
are doing well
but why does a good guy
like me fare so bad?


NOTE 7
Dear Karma
You can do no wrong
as you're keeping things exactly
as they should be -
I'm doing superb;
everybody else is ******* up
That's the way I like it

the eTablet is not happy
across its sleek glass;
and the paper book too is not happy

the eTablet has seen it
so has the paper book
the latest tip in the Health Section
in today’s paper – online and on paper:
“To sleep easy and well,
do not use computers or eGadgets
at least an hour before bed;
read a book instead”

The eTablet is not happy
about its banishment from bed
And the paper book, always too smart
for its own good,
is not happy too:
“So what are you guys saying?
I’m so boring I put people to sleep?”

And now eTablet glows
across its sleek glass

I’ve been told,
I’ve been warned
even before I comprehended human language
one should revere Text and Revelation
and should prize the Holy Book
I have been told
by Priest, High Priest, Highest Priest,
and Even Higher than Highest Priest,
and all these Declared Representatives of God on Earth
and I have been told to revere the name of God
(for some reason, these Declarers say God is a He;
they’ve had a look, I am to presume)
and to prostrate myself before the Divine Leader
and I’ve been told, advised, counseled, warned
what is right, what is just
and what is good, what is allowed
all boundaries delineated
in the Book
and I’ve been told
by parent, teacher, clerics, Holy Men and Holy Women
and I have been told by Institutions, Foundations of God
operating as Family Trusts on Planet Earth
and I’ve been told, sure –
but still I put aside
I put all away
for when I look within myself
when I look in quiet
at the world and what unfolds about
all I see is the unfolding of beauty
and so it is the unfolding of beauty that one witnesses
a beauty beyond word and symbol and book
an unfolding beyond dogma and theology
and rules and conventions
and so it is the beauty I see, that I witness
and beyond that and before that
there is nothing, nothing more than that nameless beauty

we were deeply in love
my new girlfriend and I
and we sat under the trees
in the open fields in the starlight
and she whispered to me:
"Will things ever change?"
And I whispered back, as I nibbled at her ears:
"Nothing will ever change, sweetheart"

Then she got pregnant
and everything changed

I changed my address, my work
my phone number and my email address
my routine and my weekend haunts -
*everything changed

1
two days ago
we argued about food
and my sweetheart
she moved out;
she picked up her pillow
and she slept in the next room

2
the next morning
we joked and laughed
as if nothing had happened
but in the evening we argued over
her phone bills
and that night she moved out
even further –
she went to sleep in the third room

3
this morning we laughed again
over muffins and pancakes and coffee
and at 9 pm
we shout at each other
room to room, bed to red
blaming each other about dinner
and she screams:
I’m moving out!
and she moves back to our room
where I am
and under the quilt
I whisper to her:
*I always knew
you’d come back to Number 1

it is the scene that comes to one
that opens its palms
like a child might open its own
in delight

the fingered-bamboo on slender arms
and the smooth waters flowing
like a sage’s long white hair;
and the rocks like pauses
and the terrain sliding, gliding down
not to be outdone by the river that flows –
it is the scene that comes to one
and one must come to it, and one observes…

one comes with no preconceptions
and without creed and theology
one leaves one’s history
and expectations and conditioning
and one sees what is before one…
to this one does not bring one’s opinions
and one’s past and emotions
and one’s beliefs and one’s dogma -
for to observe is to see, not to overlay
like laying carpets on mud
or marble tiles on the mansion floor…
one observes, one sees what is before one

and from this one does not take
opinions and memories and revelations
and dogma and emotions and similes and metaphors
…one observes, one sees…
…everything else is conditioning,
structure and formation…

Occupy MDP!
that’s
mom’s and dad’s place -
you imbeciles!
Occupy
Mom’s and Dad’s place -
they’ve made too much money!
They’ve worked since
they were twenty
Looking after kids
and saving money –
being selfish
no charity!
just being plain greedy!
Occupy MDP!
Don’t you see?
Mom and Dad got too much money!
Look at me –
I’m twenty-eight
going on twenty-nine –
ain’t got a penny
ain’t got a honey
and Dad and Mom
got too much in the kitty
They put money in the bank!
****! Don’t you see?
Mom and Dad are capitalists!
Occupy MDP!
So Dad and Mom
thirty years
they worked
and raised kids
and they’ve paid every cent on the house!
****! Mom and Dad are capitalists!
****! – they’re bourgeoisie!
Occupy MDP!
Open their fridge– eat for free!
Watch TV, use their internet
and surf with glee –
Mom and Dad can pay every fee!
Cos they’re capitalists
and money pigs –
that’s what they are,
Mom and Dad
So Occupy MDP!
Lie in the couch
and get your friends
in the garden
and trample on the beds of flowers -
****! Can’t you see?
She goes to the hairdresser’s;
She goes to the pedicurist -
Mom’s a bourgeoisie!
Drive Dad’s car
while he snores
who cares if you burn the tires
just drive at speed
for a good adrenalin police chase -
Old Dad will pay the fines anyway!
**** – the police are capitalists!
Dad’s a capitalist!
Mum’s a bourgeoisie!
Come on - O youth of the World
It does not matter if you are past
twenty or thirty -
All youth unite at this cry:
Occupy MDP!
Occupy Mom’s and Dad’s!
O brave Youth of the World -
Occupy MDP!

my story will wander far and wide
(as I myself do in my later life)
in strange lands and strange tongues
though strangeness never surprises me;
and through centuries many will hear my story
and watch an enactment, on stage or in other visual ways,
and perhaps many will dismiss the story
many might find it banal and strange
a tale from a savage and mythic past
and perhaps some will stand on grounds of purity
and wonder that the story of Oedipus should even be remembered;
and perhaps physicians of the mind
might even analyze the symbolism -
but surely, surely
all who hear it will feel a discomfort
an itch,
an echo
a nagging question or two:
*why? what does Oedipus mean?
why is this remembered?