i need a distraction,
more than anything,
i need to get away from this reality.

Late night texts
Sleepy eyes
Small smiles
Butterflies

Stolen moments
Held inside
Beating heart
Stupefied

~

Left alone
Tear filled eyes
Chapped lips
Scarred thighs

Empty promises
Cast aside
Broken heart
Terrified

~j.l.

it hurts even more because i though he was different,
more likely to care,
more like me.
he was a mirrored image of the others.

i remember when you stopped caring,
i was eight, naive, i needed somebody to care about me.
my dad wouldn’t do it and i thought you could.
i was so wrong. how could i be so wrong!?
you haven’t cared since. you pretend to care on birthdays and facebook but it’s all a facade. i guess i’m the only one that can see through it. i guess i’m the only one that’s seen the other side of you.

burden others is all i do,
and occasionally i get used.
i’m so tired of feeling this way,
i just need to be okay.
my heart aches for those around me,
i know they all wish i were gone.
happy is all i want to be,
well i wish life weren’t so long

you called me pretty,
but only when i was on my knees.
you said i was gorgeous,
but only when we were talking about birds & bees
you named me as a goddess,
but never when i was fully dressed.
i guess all you really wanted was ***.

“hey! are you okay?”
this is a conversation i have at least eight times a day,
“oh, i’m fine. just a little tired”
as if what i said could get any dryer.