In visions of the dark night
  I have dreamed of joy departed—
But a waking dream of life and light
  Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
  To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
  Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream—that holy dream,
  While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam,
  A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro’ storm and night,
  So trembled from afar—
What could there be more purely bright
  In Truth’s day star?

I seem to only measure time
in units of when I last saw you.

black holes only devour what you feed them,
but I still try to fill this cavity in my chest
with your words,
with your love,
with your presence.
sometimes feeling whole is only
the homonym taking its place.

I gave up the sunlight
to lay in this grave.
I turned my back on life
to continue courting my demise.

but now,
I give up my grave
to bask in your warmth.
I give you the words of love
I used to save for death’s ears.

I give up parts of myself to fill in your blanks,
and though so much of me is missing,
I am better when you are whole.

you had made this bed too quickly,
not realizing the sheets weren't fitted
and the blankets were tangled around our limbs.
you were so used to lying in it,
you didn't know how to be honest.

don't reach for me with hands
stained from the ink you used to rewrite your stories.
don't speak to me with words
that should have rotted out your teeth.
don't look at me with eyes
that I once saw my happiness in.

I will not play nice.
I will not worship
the storm that destroyed my home.

in the future,
my life will be so full of love,
you won't be able to look beyond it.
I hope it leaves you blind,
so you will never see the person I'll become
without you.

1997
the roots of my family tree
are shallow and malnourished,
breaking through the Earth's skin as a reminder
that it cannot always keep the ugly
hidden underneath.
my DNA is a life sentence for a crime
I never wanted to commit.

1999
my father called my brother a king
before he even left the womb.
a solar eclipse that has lasted years
because of my inability to escape his shadow;
though, I'm not sure I ever will.
the world will always be his stage,
and I, just a poorly constructed backdrop.

2005
my skin has turned
black and blue back into flesh.
I hope, one day,
my mind takes a lesson from my body
and learns how to forget you.

2011
they call him the all merciful god,
and I can't help but to laugh,
because the only thing he promised
to those who hurt me was forgiveness.
I prayed up until the day
god changed his phone number.
atheism is a learned behavior;
I only wonder when god stopped
believing in me.

2015
I live my life in reverse.
I drink coffee at midnight,
read the epilogues first,
go to bed in the morning.
I spent my childhood in this grave,
now it is time to dig myself out.

Maybe
We’re meant to be just friends
Just like how we started
And like how we’re mending things now

If only I wasn’t that blind to see the glee you gave me
I would’ve been the happiest girl you’ve ever seen
I’d jump as if I got a diamond ring
Cuz you were my dream and still you are in my reverie
Who unexpectedly had once fallen for me…
(I don’t know if you still..)

But love won’t be the same
If one of us chooses to change
And love doesn’t mean love
If we treat it as a game
You keep on playing hard
And I’m always the girl who never wants to lose.

Maybe
We’re meant to be just friends
You can always find me when you’re in need
And I, I will perhaps still love you, honestly
But I need to face the reality
That to be just friends is probably what we’re meant to be.

A stolen glance a
Playful wink
Love eternal sworn in ink
Teacher confiscates the letters
Forced to read
Out loud
Beautiful sonnets that would
Make Shakespeare proud

Lips make the sweetest promises
That could hook me like a lure

Lips make the dearest promises
That I am loved and cared for

Lips make the kindest promises
That I won’t be lonely anymore

Lips make the greatest promises
But…
I’ve heard them all before