Briefly I catch a glimpse of your reality
The ripples of your self confessed desire
Shimmer on in my thoughts
Heaven only knows
Where your angels lie sleeping
Whilst your demons never seem to rest
A moment
Is all that is taken
A tear
For a worthy apponent
Who fell short
And who couldn't find the strength
Or will to carry on
Holding against my breast
The picture I took
You were laughing at some obscure
Remark made about life in general
Your outlook blinded by the ripples of circumstance
I loved you then
As I love you now
Yet I have lost that hollow emptiness
That threatened to swollow me whole
Peaceful summer evenings
Drinking rose
Remonising on lifes finer qualities
Under willow trees
That no longer weep your name
Seem to hold the dreams of lovers yet met,
Poems yet written and days not yet spent
Life is only good when we believe
So believe my friend
In dreams
In hope
In beautiful horizons laid bare
I will see you there maybe
In futures warm embrace
Amongst words
Within dreams
The essence of life holds me
Lifting me higher so that I May see reality
As never I saw it before

Today i took all sharp objects
And put them in a bag
With a draw string
And pulled it tight
Then put it away somewhere safe

Theres no way I can chuck these things away
What happens when i need to slice the bread
If I have no knife
Will I have to tare at the loaf like the knife tares my skin
Still being reminded of the reason why I havn't got the knife
And what happens when i need to draw a circle
Will the plate be ok to draw around
but what if the plates too big
Will i get frustrated and smash the plate
Making more sharpe edges to play with
What if the screws need turning to make them tight
Will the ***** driver find its way into my hand
Will the screws get tightened
Will I wonder the nail look more inviting than the driver
Will i place it back in the bag
thats the question I ask my self

And you look into my eyes and say
this bag is not here to keep these things from you
Its just here to remind you to put them away
To keep them out of sight
Until you really need them

So I want to know
Why With the pen (which I know is sharp)
have you placed a notepad in the bag
How can the note pad hurt me ?

I look deep
And sweet poetess you know the answer
There may be no god today
There may be no blue skies
No rainbows to warm your soul
No sunshine
Only rain and the bitterness of life
But with the pen and paper you can create
Your own world
Full of magic and belief
shooting stars and beautiful dreams
Or you may just wish to slash at the pages
with the pen and pretend the paper is your wrist

I my self would like for you to spit your pain upon
the sheets of paper so i know how your feeling
And when i know how your feeling
I can try to give the words you need

Be it only to know that some one
gives a dam
about how your feeling right now

To savour an essence so sweetly laid bare
To hold for a second the dream lost
Sadness flows freely from glass eyes
As hearts break
And the world looses the bravist of heros
Warriar of time and place
It is time to travel to worlds new
Body broken
Spirit intact
Love left to lye in hearts so golden and true
Will never fade upon this earth
It was a pleasure
To have broken bread
And laughed a little in your smile
Farewell
Au revoir
Stretch your wings
Peace be with you

In the earliest hours of tomorrow
I came to steal the hour before dawn
To rejoice in the holy sanctity of silence
In reality all is part of all

The wind is howling
Rain lashing down
Upon pain of glass
So fragile in existence
And yet protecting
Much like a skin
Protects a master

Silken threads of remembrance
They held you this time
Like never before
They have lost
The will to journey forward
Now they can not look upon you in body
I hope your spirit flies
Between the absences they feel

Poets speak
Painters paint
The greatest of artists
Stroke their brushes across the sky
In union with the sun
And lower themselves
Feet in soil
Hearts wide open
Pain glittering like a golden thread
Hold memories within this moment
For the memories are pure

Hold onto the place
In the silence
We see more
And yet
Do we ever really get to understand

Watching boats go by
Sailing on
Catching butterflies
Only to let them go
beckoning for freedom
We allow them an escape
In spirit we are the same
And in spirit you will fly
like never before

Perfect soul
flying free
Stormy night
In silence and in rain
I sit thinking
In thinking I sit in silence

Muse
Mine Muse
You have been gone such a long while
What beckons you forth this night
Of all nights?

Whisper beauty
Speak the truth
Lies just hide
Your miss spent youth

Muse
Awhile
Walk by my side
So long you've hidden
From mine eyes

I feel you here
I almost can touch your breath
A coldness
A warmth
A renewal of faith

Muse
Just walk in silent reflection
Upon mine life
I have no direction

Have a little faith
I never left your side
From your soul
you were surely trying to hide

Winter wonderland
Barren
Forlorn
I lift my head
I feel your warmth

Take my words
And heed them well
Lest you fall under
Your own spell

Listen for me
In the midnight hour
In the silence of the night
Within your golden tower
Listen for me
As the crisp snow cracks
Or the water beckons
Or the sun plays on your back
Never to be gone
Just quiet for a while
Because life needed you to live
your reality
Before allowing you to smile

**I will always come back to you, as you will always come back to listen eventually

Do you put me away in a box
Just the way you used to tidy away your toys as a child

Did your Mother say ...
One thing at a time
Put away what isn't needed right now

So here I am
Sitting in my box
Waiting

Yep I understand
It would be easier by far if I didn't maybe

You are busy
With responsibilities
Your world becomes smaller
I think when I saw you last just for a moment
I realised how hard you find it all

It is an art
Sharing yourself with more than one person at a time
Sharing your time
I did give a sideways comment on the fact that
if this was a permanent thing
I would never see you
You assured me you would be better at organising things if that was the case

It makes me wonder if that is true

Are you really able to tip all your toys in the middle of the carpet
Are you able to de-compartmentalize your relationships

Or will you pack your toys away tidy at the end of the day

*Would mother still agree that this is such a good way to be?

I love the way my hair feels when i submerge myself under water

I love the way you smell when i nestle into the side of your neck

So sweet but musky all the same

I love the way you turn me down when I'm being nothing but a spoilt brat

I love that

I love that your the only man that has ever stood their ground

I love that you wouldnt let anyone hurt me and youd rather walk out

on a friend than see me be put down

I needed that

I love that when your around I feel safe in your embrace

I love that closeness that i cherish beyond all else

I love how you never say good bye but see u soon

Goodbye is too final you said and we are forever

So forever we will stay

I love you for not being perfect

because i like the madness it makes you special

It makes you unique

It makes you mine

I love how you  give me flowers you said you got them off the

grave of some ole man; I really didnt mind

I love how you whisper in my ear before I fall into sleep

I also love when you turn my face to yours and call me your beloved

You women , your everything ,your wife*

**I love how my mind plays tricks on me while I write these lines

For a moment I even thought you were real

She knows all the ways to make you crave her
She knows every move to keep you close
She holds the binding threads of your heart in her hands
And pulls them tight to stay in control

She knows the force to make you stay here
She cast her spell
She boiled her brew
You drank the poison from her cuplet
Now you will never let her go

The flowers of spring lay on her pillow
So devinely sweet is she
You would hold her by her heart strings
You would cast your spell of love

She knows not how she came to be here
Skin next to yours upon your bed
Soft as silk you kiss her forehead
The poison given goes to her head

Once bound by love
You both will know now
The ties you both have bound so well
Each other cast unto the other
Silken flowers take a bow


Be one with earth and sky and heaven
Holding back is no longer a choise
cast your spells in yonder cauldron
Drink from each others cuplets
Poison travels through yur blood

Now you are bound
By the laws of each other
sacred to those who believe
Hold on tight through out your life
In time the binds will loosen and
your love will freely grow

Exquisite is the moment before remembering who I really am
All my naked emotions are running riot
And yet
Here I am at the dawn of a new day

New vices and old habits have become routine
the rain just keeps pouring.
Leaving its traces down the window washed clean is this charred view from within.

Tracing the raindrops as they free fall
Spiralling out of my control down a crystal walkway that leads no-where.
Emotions like daggers are drowned into a numbness that I manage to grasp
but not let go of.
Where to next my friend who am I in this moment?

Nothing can compare to the storm within the mind.
To many faces etched in stone and the dreams only exist in a nightmares sense.
Today won’t haunt tomorrow as the past thrives within the pain.

Waves break just before the shore.
And that that was
simply reminds us of what shall never be.

It’s hard I cannot lie to you
The bottom of the bottle is looming
Just like the end of some romantic novel
We crashed and burnt
When in hell will this grieving turn to anger
At least in anger I will find once more my lost spirit
My salvation

As I wait for something to sparkle in my eyes
I think to myself where am I
How did I get here?
I’m in a smoky room
Also scared within my heart and soul
I wish for my forgiveness as i lay in a Smokey dungeon
As I wish that I
Am going to be ok
People gather around me
Help me I say!
Help me!
They have knives and guns
I hope they don’t **** me
As have unfinished business
To deal with
why only me
Why not my mum, dad and three brothers
But then I realise I'm dead
I'm in hell
I have made lots of bad decisions in my life  
Why hell? Not heaven?

I have problems

But at least i wont sleep outside tonight

The bills didnt get paid

But at least i have a house

It cold out side

How many shop doorways have heating ?

Theres snow on the ground

and ice in his hair

He didnt make the night

He died from the cold

Tell me you care ...

Obcessive
Obcessed
Incircling the lines on the wall
Where I see u carved my name
Don't hold back now
Rip for rip
Head to toe confusion

Pain pumps its self around my vains
Obcession
Depression lurking
Hurtful
Keep pushing
Explosion
Corrosion
A bitterness on lips so sweet
Total nightmare

Daily I think much too much
About you?
Never

freedom came only when I released and let go

Smiling
Letting go
Totallity of all things

In your fragile world
Even the wings of a butterfly could
manage to sweep you to the ground.
You lie in the dirt
Like a cast off
Like a lost soul with no home to dwell in.
Thoughts bouncing around inside,
Threatening to break you down,
Warning of last chances
Freedom calls
Will you answer or will you slither aimlessly away
Giving a ****
May just help you get on the right footing
It may help you choose where you go to next
Crossroads
Dark forests
Gutters
And the breath of Angels
Which shall you choose to be your guide I wonder
Hands held clasped
Closing off all that come near
Hear me
See me here
Picking up pebbles from the beach reminds me of you
It is possible to go from
lost to found.
Maybe you would like to take a stroll
Feet in wet sand
Toes curling
**There's a smile and a warm heart to be found here.

I have no words
Only feelings
My poetess is screaming
Angry
But in understanding
It is time
To say goodbye
A silent tear
No one will
Ever see me cry
Why do i have to always
Feel so much
So deep
Spirit ripped
Connection severed
To a heart already feathered
Now i have found my pain
Again
Must my poetess
Keep singing
The melodies in my mind
To the end of time  
Farewell my friend

The world is different now
Is it wrong to wish for rose tinted glasses
And a quiet corner of some obscure English garden
In which to sit cross legged and meditate
Whilst bombs reign down
And faiths scream their alliance to God
God holds his head in shame for his children who have been scattered in the wind
Evil lies in the hearts of the broken
Who then in turn spread their anger out wards
Causing chaos and confusion
Love thy neighbour
Hate the sin and not the sinner
These rules you must admit become harder by the day
We have become to humanised
We have become to disconnected
And my spirit cries
For the peace of an English meadow
In which to lie my head

My mind is quiet

need for grounding

poetess in slumber

No thoughts pass between us

I will let her sleep now

My emotions have exausted her

Sleep humble lady of mine own creation

and thankyou for rising above

and teaching me how to fly.

I flick through memories
Like a crumpled dream revisited
The sword dips and twists
Twists and turns
Where there is a forgotten face
There is an angels cry for comfort
I will hide my face in shame
Addiction to love
The poison flowing freely
As the sun blinds
And my heart pumps venom to vertually every
Cell within this bio world I live in
I secretly cry in corners
But all you will see
Is my indifference
My detachment
My symbolic denial of truth

I came upon an old stone wishing well
Way out beyond my dream time
Just past the hour that never quite Strikes
So I flipped my coin and tossed it so
Rainbow hues and no where else to go
I wished for love to hold me close
Closer still than I ever did know
I wished for arms to Wrap me tight
All through the winter nights
I wished for freedom
I wished for joy
My wish it splashed upon the fountains floor
And then I wished a little more
I wished for hope
I wished for faith
For without these two
I'd fall from grace
With out trust there is no love
No devine intervention from above

I stretch my arms up
to the sky
And let the light of the sun
consume all that it desires
Taking and renewing
All that is me

I rise above the mindless mutterings
Of the fools who think gossip and folly
Is the way to enlightenment
But still I feel
The consending minds
Judging the world
That to myself
I am so grateful to  part of
Let us smile and breathe in moments of understanding
Whilst being mindful
For our people

To be for a moment
In the glory of your smile
Sweet in rememberence
But so sad in knowing the truth
The truth that lies behind
Those beautiful eyes

I see you

Please don't stand too close
The devil has broken free from the shackles of his cage and is threatening
To take from me anyone that comes near

Stepping back quietly with grace would be your best option
But even then I can't promise your get out of this in one whole piece

Fragmented pieces falling
You crumble at my feet

If only you'd listened

The devil within
The Angel within
He fell
In darkness as in the light
As in day
As in night

Shh place your finger to your lips
Silence breads contempt you say
But I say it just serves to keep you safe

In shadows we find ourselves
As sunrise appears
We thank god we have survived

She was hoping for a little peace
to warm her busy sharlet day
but the grey city loomed heavy on her mind
And though the  black birds sang sweeter
Today it seemed to annoy her
Shades of green swayed outside her window
Whilst white cotten clouds swam
In a sea of tranquil blue
But still
All she saw was grey

Simply delicious
Blood tasting like honey
Thirsty for a recollection
Time flies don't you think?

I don't crave the truth
The one I shall find
Beneath your velvet brown eyes
Bidding on life itself
Time flies  when in the company of strangers

Turn away before you find what I had hidden
Only my truth is illuminated within
Without my heart
I am nothing
Time flies when your soul is yearning

Truth
You wouldn't know it if you saw it
If you could feel truth how would it feel?
Hold your pillow against your cheek
I hunger
And yet
Time still flies

Feathers cascade downwards
Forming a soft pile
Of unspoken moments
Touch me with the truth
That however fast time flies
There will always be a time for us

Forgetfulness makes me weak
Illusion makes me dream
Time
Well time will tell
If this circle of events will ever come full circle
Leaving me spinning,spiralling downwards

When finally I stood still
Long enough to raise my head from
The level of the pavement
I saw feathers falling
White as snow
A call of angels
Come to.lighten my step
Things are looming
Closer than feels comfortable
The full moon leaves my stomach turning
And my emotions realling downwards
Get ready for a crash landing
But asking for help
Maybe my calls for help
Have been answered
Maybe white feathers have come to comfort
A bleeding heart

Place the tip of your finger
Upon my lip
Kiss all that I am
I will breathe in our tomorrows
For I see you waiting
Quietly
Never making a movement unneeded
Responding only when asked
Kiss her brow
And say I'm truely sorry
But you can not be hers
When still your lips hunger
For the passion which is ours only
Holding on
Is hurting
Doing what is expected
Making do with moments of Bliss
When what you need is moments
Of this love we shared
So sort out
What you need to once more be free to choose
Messages are all around me
I feel you
Closer
I wait
I am ready
When the moon is high
Beckoned by the sun  to stay
In the sky just a little longer than it should
The magpie message
Will be recieved gratefully

The cracks in your story are illuminated within reason
And your truths are so transparent
Even I can see beyond the void
And past the screen you hold up to hide behind
Sunsets have no need to hide beauty
Nature basks in truth
It is only mere man that wanders aimlessly
Wanting a place where his truth is hidden
Come I beg
Drown me in your desire for a life less meaningless
Oh how I desire it more my friend
And how the sunsets beauty no longer sets me free from my suffering
Souls scream
Hearts are fragmented, crumbled and left to scatter on the breeze
Your scars are unique
And I my friend will trace with my finger tip along each one
Like a dot to dot
And you will show me your truths
You have tried to stay hidden
But I'm sorry you have failed
There are a few
We are special
We are unique
Maybe we are your scars made into reality
Maybe we are your madness running wild
Write a story of unburdened love
Create an art piece
Before it crumbles
What was it that you desired?
Who were you portraying before you lost self to the breeze?
You may like to believe my friend that transparency does not exist
That your not made of glass
That you will not break
But break we must at the end of every day
So that tomorrow in sunrise the sharp edges may morph and surrender
Once more hiding within
The man excapes into the sunrise too fearful
And yet does not realise
The truth before his own eyes