i still wear your t-shirt to sleep
i still slit my wrists at night
i feel safe inside your t-shirt at night
i still listen to the songs
that you used to sing
i still replay the sound of your laugh
when i hated the smell of tuna
in your dorm room after
we cuddled
i still remember the way your
fingers felt running
through my hair
i still get excited when i see dogs
i still like to argue
i still cry because i miss you
i still wear your t-shirt to sleep

you're meaner than my demons

when it's five in the morning and all i can imagine is your hands against my skin it becomes so hard to even breathe

your hand brushed against mine when i went to open the door
your hand brushed against mine when i turned on the radio
maybe it was a sign
you gave me a hug that day
for 15 seconds i felt safe
you dried my tears that day
i remember the feeling of your thumb on my cheek
maybe it was a sign

I find myself finding it harder to sleep at night
I can't help thinking maybe it's the light
I turn it off
and my mind creates images you can only see in the dark
I turn it back on
and my thoughts go on and on
I toss and turn
and close my eyes
I can hear the clock ticking as time flies
I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling
please let me sleep, I am more than willing
For a while I can feel myself drifting away
Hello sleep, I'm on my way
But the voices
The lights
They won't let me sleep
Playing in my mind like an eager child
I'm ragged
Weary
Drowing in my own thoughts
I close my eyes and try again
I can feel daytime crawling on my window
I need more time, I wish I could borrow