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s Nov 2015
I hate living
I hate dying
I hate everything
I hate the door
And the floor
But just tonight
Tomorrow I will see the sun again
Tomorrow I will love things
But not tonight
And that's hard.
s Nov 2015
It has almost been a year
how can time go so fast
but yet so slow.
s Oct 2015
you taught me to drive
you taught me that family is most important
that adventures are always there if you look
you love me
out in the driveway teaching me how to shoot hoops
in the house eating cereal out of a mixing bowl
you told me I could be whatever I wanted to be
kissing mom on the forehead
you tell mom beautiful things that make her smile
hearing the garage door and running to give you a hug
laughing and crying
"if someone gives you an opportunity, take it"
waking up to a knock on my door on a Sunday "I made breakfast"
running at 5am and talking about life and why the earth turns
eating oats on the back porch on our red chairs
redbox and pizza and football
getting a drink from the hose
you could make the meanest tacos
putting a big arm around me and saying "I sure am proud of you beautiful girl of mine"
crying wishing hoping wanting
wanting this back
thank you
I love you and miss you daddy
college is hard
but I will make you proud.
sincerely, your little girl.
homesick
s Oct 2015
It eats at you with ravenous guilt
Knowing that you need to be rebuilt
They welcome you with betraying hands
Controlling you from taking a strand
listening to the closing door
Memories splashing on the floor
I try so hard to make the monsters run away
They just barged in and demanded to play
In this game of life
Please don't choose the knife
Keep fighting for what you need
Or all your going to do is bleed
Wrote this with a friend
s Sep 2015
It hurts
Looking back at what I had
It hurts
Knowing that I am getting worse
It hurts
Understanding grown up things
It hurts
Standing on the scale
It hurts
When words drip from your skin
It hurts
To live with a mask
It hurts when everyone tells you that you need help but help only makes things worse.
I am so done
s Sep 2015
I don't want to be wishing anymore.
I don't want to be alive anymore.
I want to become what I want.
So that's what I'm going to do.
s Aug 2015
I try to write.
I am trying to vent.
But my head is tangled
I can't brush it out without pulling my brain with it.
How do I say this
I'm done I'm really done.
I don't know how I'm going to make it
I am lost
I feel really low
I don't know what to do anymore.
I am just typing
My ankle stings
I just relapsed
Yay
Well anyway
Hopefully I don't die
Or do
I don't care
Okay until next time
Or not
Bye
Idk
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