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Queen Oct 2016
Up until today
I thought it was still a dream
But reality shook me
And brought me back quickly
Knowing
This was no dream at all
But another event
To add to the list
Of responses
People will say
When asked,
“hey, why did she turn out that way”
With the answer being
“You”
You caused this aguish
She now feels
You caused this anger
She tries to conceal
You take no responsibility
For the things you’ve done
The lives you ruin
The pain you caused
But I will not hate you
Instead I will tell you to pray
Because the day I see you again
***** you will pay!!!!
Haters beware!!!!
Queen Oct 2016
Full room of people
smiles on their face
and I couldn't feel
more displaced
their talking about the good days
when you were alive and well
but all I can focus on
is your empty shell
I try to block their words
hide from the facts
by keeping the drinks flowing
keeping the smile showing
but no one truly knowing
the bitterness that's growing
that's called "ME"
I remain silent
but allow my mind to race
and all it does
is load slideshows of your face
125 YEARS is what you promised me
I use to laugh, and say, "yeah right"
but their wasn't a doubt in my mind
you wouldn't be right
I would have settled for another year
maybe three
but you left way to suddenly
So I sit in the full room of people
with a smile on my face
no one knowing
what's truly taking place!
I miss my dad everyday!!!
Queen Oct 2016
The razor is my paintbrush
The canvas my wrists
who knew cutting would be my bliss?
It's the storm no one expects
that causes the most damage
I wish things were different
but this is how it must be
this life wasn't meant for me
People say the devil isn't human
but he's as real as you and me
he doesn't have horns
or hide under beds
he's simply the voice in your head
that says you're damaged, fractured and broken
to far gone to be saved
he plants a seed of hatred
and then watches it grow.
You know you're worthy of something
but what
you just don't know
I'll do anything to end these thoughts
but i wake up into nightmares
and know i'm better off, asleep
I sleep more than I breath
I cry more than I speak
I'm never content
I fly too high
or crash too hard
Drink a bottle
Pop a pill
Smoke week
As long as you have drugs
it's all you'll ever need
Sometimes it's better to escape for a moment than a lifetime

— The End —