Obsession
Is an addiction.
Addiction is exhaustion
of energy, willpower, and faith.

Jealousy
Is an emotion
meant to be felt, acknowledged,
And treated with gentleness
But also firmness.

Love
Requires no promises
No guarantees
And no reciprocation.

And sadness, loss, and fear
Is what I feel.

Your name, so unique
your eyes, so handsome
your tongue, so absent
your bite, so forceful
your ****, so hard.
and now, back at home, miles away,
I pine for your attention,
its not enough.

The feeling of dread in my chest.
The panic in my heart.
The swirling thoughts in my head.
The tunnel vision focus.
I made a fool of myself again yesterday, and the morning is full of regret.

I want to react, but I know that to react is to make it worse.
I want to fix it.  But behaviors cannot be undone.
I want to climb into the hole I just dug, and ignore the world now.
I want to stop thinking that my life holds so much importance.  That my actions make such a difference.  I want to stop worrying so much about if people like me, or what people think of me.  I want to remember that the world always has abundant opportunities for growth,  love, and friendship.  That to be uncomfortable now, is simply a period of reflection about who I am, and who I want to be.  To be scared of myself, is like fearing my own shadow, it's not living.

So I pick up my bleeding heart, my heavy head, and my swollen conciousness, and I take a shower, and start a new day.