Wound up a rubber bands
Balsa airplanes high on a breeze
Dandelion wishes
Wildflower **** bouquets
Squeals carried on the wind
A lazy swing in the warmth
Never ending declarations of love
With the sweetest of all smiles

No act of kindness is truly kind
When to another's heart is blind
The honesty of what's beneath
The hardened steel of friendship's sheath

Encapsulated memories
Enraptured deep in love's warm breeze
When longing turns to searing pain
So much to lose and naught to gain

Still, above all else there is a joy
That lingers in the heart's employ
Time will tell how deep it lies
Until that moment, the smile belies

So much to say
Yet I fumble at the start
Tripping over my tongue
Falling  into my heart

Words flow easily
No nervous laughter
No fear
A smile becomes a rainbow in a still gray sky
Laughter is life's liquor
Relaxing inhibitions with comfort
Making the seemingly impossible, less so
Your smile is everything
Shining like the stars in a navy sky
That twinkle in your eye, for me alone
Is brighter than a thousand full moons
So we laugh,
Do I dare believe
Feeling drunk in the moment
Blissful where happiness once eluded
May these moments link together
In an endless string of perfect pearls
I live to make you laugh,
To laugh together
I am life's alcoholic

Challenges unspoken
Break silence into thunder
Denial looms heavy between us
Though there is no denying
To pretend it does not exist
To lie, even to ourselves, seems blasphemous
Hearts so united that they beat as one
Cannot be ripped one from another
To do so would render both lifeless
Too frail to sustain alone
Yet so strong in tandem we cannot be broken

Your words lead to your soul,
They have guided me, heart in hand,
To the truth of who you are,
And with bated breath I read them.
For it is there,
That your essence flows through me,
And carries me straight to you

I wish I had the words to tell you how you embrace my heart
How the very thought of you warms my soul
I wish you could feel through my spirit so you would know how deep love lies
How you dance through my thoughts and color me beautiful

The darkness called me, needing me
Wanting me to follow and cover myself
And I slipped away, silently
Lost in the shadows that beckoned so sweetly
I took refuge in the fog
Whose dappled light was just enough
To lead me deeper into you

gazing upon the empty words
breathes life as once she read
words on a page of nothingness
found love there in its stead
to know his soul as he doth hers
love never accepts defeat
though distance mars the loving hearts
for ne'er the twain shall meet

Words so sweet to bridge the distance
Bonded souls bring joy to heart
Ran the path of least resistance
To the core right from the start

Passion bleeds straight through the skin
Birthing feelings too intense
Ravaged spirits deep within
Break through loves weakened defense

Enveloped in the jubilation
Caused by being someone's sun
Belligerent intoxication
When heart fights mind to love someone

Stop the swimming thinking river
That makes the pain come hard and fast
A pain that is easy to deliver
When you have a broken past

Take the good for what it's worth
Though the darkness leaches through
Trust the light that brings great mirth
Before the shadows swallow you

An empty soul floating atop a sea of bleeding hearts
Sinks when the rain turns to a flood
Drowning in the pain of others
Hiding amongst their misery
Filling like a sponge,
with the decaying love of strangers
Overjoyed to belong,
despite the lingering nothingness
Joy evaporates the liquid anguish, however slowly
Time brings solitude
Returning to the surface even emptier than before

Reluctant to share
Loathe to believe
Defenses worn thin
Weakened by saccharine kindness
Cliche grandiosity seasoned a bland bland world
Black and white, lost in shades of gray
Colorized emotions drip life into an exsiccated heart
A sunlit spotlight of warmth
Faded painted colors can never return to grayscale
Changed forever by a moment, if not by accident

Bad dreams fill the soul with a sadness all too real.
A soul searches through the darkness
A distant beacon beckons
Stretching through shadowed tears
Touching with such earnest longing
Guided peacefully to that place between dreams,
Where emotions leach into reality
That place where "never" does not exist
It is here, where true happiness its bred

Here lies a lonely heart
And here it was besought
Too acquiescent to question
Too obstinate to acquiesce
Neither foolish, nor naive
The heart endeavors
Tattered in the process
Tentative in its gifts
With but one request
Yet, in its stead
was found thoughtless untruths
Holding fast to words spoken
Despite the fact the truth remains unhidden
Prefer honest consequences to deceit
Regardless how pale in color

Cracked, depleted and downright broken
Left in the lurch by sweet, sweet lies
Knowing one can't, but must...still
Shadowed thoughts and twisted memories
Alone together and together alone
Days in shades of a bruised ego
Nights in darkened yesterdays
Remembered only in the mind's eye
By letting go, it will cease to exist
Longing to continue where the beauty is laid to rest

Minutes to hours to days to weeks
No one can find what they do not seek
Persist even when the future is bleak
Make better choices
The heart is strong when the spirit is weak
Don't heed the voices

The ones that speak to you alone
That talk you into what you can't condone
They say you have no mind of your own
And the flesh will rule you
And you feel a child, even though you're grown
How the mind can fool you

Feelings overrule the mind
The heart is ever so unkind
With temptation close behind
It's logic or passion
It's a battle you will find
of brutal fashion

Lodged between the moral wrong
More than tragedy in song
Walking where you don't belong
The path's not chosen
Standing still, yet pulled along
Toward a heart Ambrosian

Clear blue runs cloudy
Midday Sun obscured
Tears dry as they form
Love, through pain, endures

desperate for a break in loneliness
longing to be devoured
heart once removed
prey versus predator
gentle, lays the Beast
slowly fueled by crowds of vacant eyes
primal feasts of flesh
no bearing on the soul
no past
no future
momentarily sated
a life of pretense
constructs of reality morph with mood
crushed and renovated by perception
the soul eats trusting hearts
unable to quench the thirst
it spits out bare bones
and goes on its way
living for the bliss of escape
oblivious to consequences no one else can see

Sneaking in from the shadows
It fills the spaces too small to see
The heart feels full, masked by joy
Yet, the mind is subtly, subconsciously aware
It lurks in the background
Still, the joy expands like hot air
It lifts the spirit and blinds the soul
Then, it begins to surface
It remains unnoticed for a time, then ignored for longer
It is nothing new, as it has always been there...in the distance
Now, as it pushes through the perceived joy
It darkens the heart,
Choking out pleasure with pain
And joy with sadness
Smoke filled lungs and watery eyes
Yet, nothing has changed.
There is no difference between today and yesterday,
There will be no difference between today and tomorrow
Nothing to do
No one to blame
Unable to force the heart to feel what it used to
Unable to see the good over all else
The change weighs heavily on the soul
And though it is not what is wanted,
It is what must be done, ...
As it is time.

So fragile in its exquisite form
Crystalline and glorious
Transparent to those who wish to see
Tossed around by the unworthy
Dropped and shattered
Crushed under pounding foot
In the sun a billion pieces sparkle
By moonlight it looks like stars
How beautifully broken the heart can be

Stuck in a time long since passed. Heart emptied hopeless. Faces blur along with the days. Nights linger incessantly, haunting all that ever was.  Dreams tease happy.  Sun kills dreams. Time makes scars. Distance allows the fallacy to continue.  The lies turn daily mantra.  The mantra into perceived reality. Reality into dreams, the dreams into nightmares.  Sun cannot **** nightmares.

Hollow glass hearts bleed
Puddle will evaporate
To exist no more

Joy-filled memories leach all hope for future joy.  Heart crushed to powder. Powdered hearts cannot bleed.  Dead hearts cannot feel. Memories, overflow with the shadow of love's embrace. Pain jabs the senses like lightning.  Still, the heart has ceased to exist.  Calluses fill the space that scars cannot.  False emotion permeates the truth.  Future acquaintances see beauty behind dead eyes.  As they close in, icy breath freezes long enough to drain their heart to beat some life into the one lost. Walking away with minimal pulse as their heart is hollowed and bleeding.  Soon too, that puddle with cease to exist.  

**Life's casualties
Joy begets pain begets joy
Hope dies most quickly

Crystal ***** ignite a dream long thought erased by time
Reflections show nothing more than truth perceived by emotion
Yearning for a life in Technicolor, belief is based on hope

Silence screams its cries of pain
Realized only in the darkest corners
Flashes of electric blue bear witness
The crack shatters the silence
And deafens the pain...momentarily
Caught off guard, the tempest shifts
Whirling cyclone through smokey heart
Dust clouds of ancient barricades crumbling
The darkness grows to an eclipse
Quietly, patiently, time passes so slowly it seems to rewind
Footsteps softened, neigh, silenced by the thickening dust
It settles quickly, as mottled shades of gray
Begin replacing the true absence of light
Sliver by blinding sliver it penetrates
Searing, in it's obtrusive insistence
Piercing both heart and soul
Killing the blind peace
With hope disguised as fear

Through the icy morning
To the sunny afternoon
I find myself looking at you
So far away, yet I remain surrounded
In the warm sun and cool breeze
You tickle my skin happy
In the blue/gray sky that reflects your gaze upon mine
Until finally I am enveloped in dreams of you

Tapping at the hotel door
I see the man I've seen before
Getting close but wanting more
I'm on a mission
Risking all believing lore
No indecision
A life of longing and desire
No one else doth I require
Only you can burn the pyre
That's been created
Electric skin and hearts afire
Love's not abated
In the times that we hath known
A closeness never overgrown
Leaving nothing to bemoan
Halves of just one heart
Time has passed and years have flown
Stopping love's impart
Ignoring empty souls and then
Enshrouding love behind a friend
Realizing there is no end
To this addiction
Living on what life portends
Love's interdiction
Yearning what life separates
Too old now for long debates
Tired of always fighting fates
It's now or never
Giving in to what awaits
In this endeavor
So, here we are in darkest night
Hearts grow wings and take to flight
Bodies aching at the sight
Of one another
Side by side love makes it right
There is no other
Here we stand in open door
Feeling what we've felt before
One step closer to amor
No inhibitions
Embracing what we're longing for
In Love's admission

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

The tide rolls in, in waves of emotion
The surge rips and the grip tightens
Time weakens resolve and threatens to wash away all,
Reality is blurred for a moment or two
Alone on the sand struggling to hold onto branches
Gasping for each partial breath
As waves continue their barrage,
A warm grasp, steady and strong
Worn out clenched fists open, blistered and ******
Released not to the sea, but to the embrace of the rested
Eyes too weak to open can see the love
That saved body, mind, and soul

The epidemic of conformity consumes all
Children play by board game rules
Stifled by the world to paint a proper picture
They draw flowers of red with stems of green
Fields of wildflowers viewed as weeds enveloped in insecticides
Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet
That is a rainbow, in that order alone
We are taught to live by the colors in a box of eight crayons
But even so, those colors cannot make a proper rainbow
A rainbow should be praised if drawn in mixed-breed hues
That field of flowers, natures pallet
We should begin with a box of 124 and grow infinitely
Where lilac dragons can live in cherry trees
Where those waist-high weeds hide the predator from the prey
For where would we be without cops and robbers, or hide and seek
In a world where out of sight incites widespread panic
Children's laughter in the sun is slowly silenced by the rules
Instead, embrace the joy and encourage creativity
We should harbor imagination and develop unreality
For it is there that is born the ideas that will form the future

Between today and tomorrow lives a lifetime
Between today and yesterday seems untrue
Yet, here, in this moment, lies perfection
A glance feels an eternity
Doubt is squelched by honest emotion
And reality breathes in time with our hearts

Behind those eyes of blue-gray-green
Lies a heart of which is seldom seen
Though hard for some to realize
There's a world of pain behind said eyes
From drama of torn childhood
From doing bad but being good
To grown up tears of discontent
From words once spoken but never meant
And now with empty bottles past
With clarity one hopes will last
Can be seen a glimpse of inner peace
Of eager joy which begs release
Though years of numbness linger still
Denying freedom to laugh at will
A perfectly polished yesteryear
Cradles everything the heart holds dear
The memories of warmth and fun
Tarnish easily out in the sun
When walking backwards leads you blind
One can never leave the past behind
The farther away the better it seems
Even the nightmares look like a dream
Now, when walking heel to toe
Facing the way you want to go
The road's less bumpy for the ride
Obstacles faced with longer strides
The light behind those eyes still burns
As chapters end and pages turn
The book continues day by day
Joy slowly rises come what may
Living is what makes us strong
To do what's right when we've been wronged
And though that pain may never die
There's no place left for it to hide
It's worn dull by loves embrace
Displaced, in time, with joy and grace
And then those eyes of blue-gray-green
Will sparkle new with brighter sheen
For a heart that's swelled to greater size
Will be foretold behind those eyes

Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.  

Pushing me away
What's best, or just what's easy
Burns holes in my soul

Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.  

Joy of love melts ice
Heat smothered by a tear cloud
Threadbare soul survives

Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was

**Surrender takes time
                        Reluctantly relinquished
                                               I will fight no more

Hugging knees in darkest corners
Leaving love behind
Sinking so deeply, light is lost
Spirit broken
Heart shattered
Soul torn
Before the mending could begin
Before the pieces could be swept up
Smacked to the ground
Crushed into powder
Irreparably damaged
Irrevocably heartless
Too much love begets too much torment
Agonizing over unowned burdens
Cold shadows become welcoming
As warmth feels more like **Hell

Heard with my own ears
Beheld with my own eyes
Yet now, with empty bottles by,
Lies doubt in things remembered
True in the moment, believed
Then hidden bits unfold
And muddle the edges of memory
Words once trusted, now skewed
Hearts once borrowed seem stolen
And the "truth" tastes like a lie

left to ponder with too much time
minutes tick by like days
and forever seems a possibility
while waiting for tomorrow