it was not quite morning when i woke in my bed
in the doorway there was darkness and a black figure i read
standing in the doorway in silence, not a word, nothing said
i could just make out its eyes: yellow, and black with a hue almost red
it was staring at me. filling me full with dread
i saw it's hands rested on the doorframe with fingers wide-spread
i tried not to scream but an airy hiss left my head
just as all of my courage and sanity fled
i swear this figure, back into the darkness it bled
until i could no longer tell it from the shadows at the foot of my bed

Our fixation with hand held machines
And replacing meals with soybeans
A spectator to arguments over vaccines
We're all underemployed and "getting-by" by other means
Living vicariously through our broken screens
Lobotomized and abused; nearly at-risk teens
Utterly lost in so many depression memes
Farmed and sent out from the Phillipines
Too desensitized to hear our own internal screams

phantom lies
behind hazel eyes
broke these bones

a gentle smile
and sweet denial
made it easy

days gone by
with no goodbye

and that is how they leave me .

When people annoy me with their
constant complaining or their
non stop arguing, or even worse,
their illogical demands:
"For the last time, you can't buy
***** with food stamps."  Or,
"There is no way a crow took the
rent money out of your hands and
flew off with it."

What I do is close my eyes and
pretend they're squirrels chattering
in squirrel language.  
Then they don't bother me so much.
I just want to reach out and pet them,
or give them a handful of nuts.
It's not hard; half of them look
like squirrels anyway.

So I sez to noone there.
Go in pease.
Noone answered so i
suppose you are hanging
around.  Let the day fold
into another night.  I no
longer cry for you I sez.

I bring back from you
the nurturing, the dreams.
So I will no longer go
wichu to the palace of
jewels that was your
hideout.  Only I was
allowed in until you
jest turned around and
disappeared.  

I known no other love.
I will not suffer for a long
the way I drop crumbs
for you to follow in cases
you look for me in the
undergrowth of the years
and tears of a life
mistaken.


Caroline Shank