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 Dec 2019 Maria Sinoway
zumee
what if moon can see our crimes
from that far out
night's yellow eyes
watching in the day

what if day lights a candle for night
to blow out
put its lover to sleep

what if love is a hunter
we the prey
skinned, prepared
for master of reason

what if reason has the keys
to the locks on your cells
would you set you free

what if freedom is a book
that contains one truth

what if truth is a lie
death allows
life

what if life is defiance
of time
against forever

what if you can catch forever
in chains around your wrist
divide
until too weak to resist

what if forever
like us
is only weak when its divided
 Dec 2019 Maria Sinoway
Skaidrum
"    Legend has it,
      he could talk the sun
          into setting.    "

    He's a tragedy the zodiacs still gossip about,
               metal wounds glower by the fire,
    flames sneering at druid flesh,
                  crystal bones are decaying,
    wrapping willow branches along my neck~

             Love isn't a prophecy.

Telling time to ghosts who cannot read,
      these shadows ache in the pupils of sunlight~
Lupus showers us in dire blessing;
         so start lighting the torches of war from Osiris,
he's illiterate in your dead language of poetry,

      I can't help but notice you don't pick fights with death anymore.

There's no sunlight on this side of history,
       spider webs become cave paintings to gods~
look north for the tails of dragons and hurricanes,
   cast your doubts to frigid chambers and feverish graves;
A prayer for the day we have no names to mourn,

           His loyalty falters as autumn grows sicker.

You've melted golden eyes upon heavens in ink,
        and he's crippling under silver lightning again;
masquerading demonic skin plastered in snow,
        is a game you like to play to injure gods,
an incredible contradiction between love and lies...

     Pick your poison wisely, wolf girl.

So there's been a few contracts with the dead,
          I swapped my soul with Lupus,
bargained my sins with Sirius,
          traded these miracles with Artemis,
as eight sapphire flames bleed this heart dry from it's curse;

     Don't **** your hopes for the greater good.

Illusions are born when nightmares grow lonesome,
         if the book of the moon spells traitor and betrayal,
then these sinister rouges cannot quell what's been written.
        Our love song was a dark sonata drenched in lead;
discard the sounds that tremble in pianissimo~

    An omen of war divided Yin from Yang.

I'm forcing fangs to ripen by first light,
       while tricking secrets into fusing with fairy tales.
Auburn daggers whine to slither deeper,
      into the spines of star crossed lovers;
beating on drums of moonlight to call me to this world;

    Grief and mosaics relapse in my palms tonight.


"     The birth of a lapis sword
               plunged in the stone
                           of her wolven
                                         heart.      "

"Sometimes love makes puppets of darkness out of all of us.*"
The crow ain't worth much.

<><><>    © Copywrite Skaidrum     <><><>
 May 2017 Maria Sinoway
Celeste C
You had the demeanor of an *******.
A self absorbed, selfish ****.

But from the first few moments I saw you,
I couldn't stop the yearning I felt
to introduce myself.

Because if I hadn't,
I'd feel terrible that I had judged you so harshly,
without even trading a word.

So I did.
And before I knew it,
I had some stupid school girl crush on you.

I never said anything.
It was quite obvious
but I would never admit to it.

                    We became close friends,
                    exchanged secrets.
                    I told you things that struck emotions in me.
                    You were surprised.
                   you have emotions?
                    although it was a joke, we both heard the pang of truth.

                    You showed me sides of you no one else saw.
                    The compassionate you.
                    The depressed you.
                    The caring you.
            
                    With just words, we had established this relationship that we continued to build upon.
                    But no matter how much we told each other,
                    we never spoke of our feelings that we felt for one another.
                    As a result, I was unsure of myself around you.

                    One day, curiosity struck you.
                    You began questioning me.
                    We trekked into territory that both of us had avoided.

                                        Eventually I told you.
                                        The seven words escaped my mouth before I could stop them,
                                        like on a windy day,
                                        when you try to keep the **** hat on your head
                                        but it still gets away.
                                        All of the repressed emotions emptied themselves
                                        into these seven words:

                                        I LOVE YOU, OKAY?
                                         ....i love you.

The tears followed quickly.
A flowing stream down my cheeks.
because I had never thought you'd feel the same
and I could not handle the vulnerability
of loving someone.

                    You held me.
                    And allowed me to rest my weary head
                    on your broad, muscular chest.
                    Your heartbeat soothed me
                    and as the tears stopped,
                    you pierced my eyes, with yours.
                    A dark, serious look crossed over the green gold sea of your irises.

                                        You whispered seven words,
                                         mostly to yourself.
                                         but I heard them, because if I hadn't
                                         I wouldn't have felt like a swarm of butterflies were
                                         trying to escape my stomach.

*It's fine. Because I love you too.
Shy
Wondering
Afraid to say what I feel
What I want

Scared
Stumbling
Words sticking in my throat
Dying to confess

Sweet
Innocent desires
The things I'm supposed to want
I do want them...

But
Underneath
There are deeper, darker wants
Dark, scary needs

Lust
Hot, heavy, stifling
Suffocating me with the weight of its urgency
Things I couldn't ever say

Shame
I feel...wrong
***** for wanting those things
For needing them

Yearning
I want to be hurt
I need to be controlled
To be shamelessly used

But
I can't tell
I can't make my brain let my mouth
Say the words burning inside me.

I
Can't
Tell him
How very badly
I need him
To forget
Just for a few hours
That he loves me
And only think
How much
He wants
To use me
Alone beside crimson
Destiny exclusively found
Gore has income
Jealous king lounged
Marred nightly often
Putrid, quite rotten
Saved timely use
Voracious with xenia
Yearning Zeus.
I saw this format on preech's page and thought I'd have a go.
It's not easy. That's obvious.
Honestly,
I find it rather cruel to leave me lingering.
Lingering like unwanted taint from a long, hard day of work.


You should of just crushed me.
You should of told me there was no hope.
You should have told me that it all was just a fallacy.
You should have made me hate you.
Even then, after I would regroup my dignity after being such a fool,
I do not believe my heart would wish ****** harm against you.
How pathetic do I sound right about now?
All I pray for is to have a stronger heart,
A stronger mind.


Already, I grow tired of pining over you.
The one time I decided not to shut someone out
And in return, I am left with a much larger void.


I greatly dislike my understanding personality.
It is something that I never possessed,
But I did not expect to find someone similar to me.


I simply wished that I was burdened
By the ignorant naivety of today's youth.
I am finding it quite factual that I am deemed cursed.
That real love or an ideal relationship,
Has forsaken me.


I am aware of the obvious.
I am aware of my own youth.
I am one who survives on the care for others.
Only for ones I see fit.


Alas, here I am rambling on about the usual.
All I must say, is that my feelings were true.
Surprising, actually,
For I was only seeking company
And found something much more.


I find it a burden to know that
Someone as good as you, is out there.
I simply wish, I perhaps will count the days,
That one day, I can call you mine
And I, yours.


We all know that is just the latest crazy talk
That mind-fuckery builds when we
Are alone, yearning for the things we cannot have.


**** this hopeless romantic heart of mine.
**** being weak.
**** being vunerable.
**** being understanding.
Just, **** everything.


I leave you with:
You should of just crushed me.
You should of told me there was no hope.
You should have told me that it all was just a fallacy.
You should have made me hate you


Yet, knowing I,
I want to linger.
I wish that I will linger in your mind.

If not, I simply hope that peace with shroud every inch of you
And that you will find what your heart seeks.
Yearning for you
Makes me angry with myself.

So **** angry
That I literally weep with rage and horror,
Sometimes several times a day.

You are such a
Such a
Such a
Why do I want you, even now?

And I mean want want WANT you,
Desperately, angrily, resentfully,
Want you like the world wants saving,
The rain wants rivers,
Want you like a fallen angel
Wishes he could be with God, again.
'yearning' is such a quaint and old fashioned word for such a painful horrorshow of a feeling. Actually, I seem to remember a time when it felt wonderful, when it bordered on rapture. That was before. Another place, another time, another me.
Nothing at this point in time,
at this point in my life,
would satisfy me more as to consume another human being.
To open myself like parted seas
then selfishly,
ravenously,
close myself again, engrossing him.
Devouring his flesh in mine.
The longer this yearning desire goes unquenched,
the more painfully hopeless I am of tranquillizing it.
It cries in the night, wishing to be consoled,
I coo to it in vain.
I am entirely alone.
Why do you want for me to feel like this
Please don't taunt me with those perfect lips
Don't give me that look that sticks in my mind
Won't give in to that hook because you're not mine
Really wish that I could pull away from you
Now I feel like a fool because either way I loose
Red flashing lights going off in my head
Still tonight I want you here instead
How do I escape these feelings that are so bad
When I am not willing to give up what I can't have
I need a solution so help me please
My strength is fading and I need my energy
I wish you could see what you are putting me through
I need to get away but somehow you keep pulling me back to you
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