I just can't bottle these feelings up anymore
I stare at the ceiling, picture the swing
The slow, gentle sway, and the thing that hangs hauntingly
A sight for sore eyes
But I wonder what will take me out next
My inevitable boredom, or the questioning of my existence
Then, I realise I don't care—
I just want it to happen soon.
Now, to repeat the same lie
Etching in my skin like routine,
A fond friend to this darkness
Dissolving deep within my bones,
This old yet familiar companion
Of words and falsehoods alike
"Sorry, I really am."
Followed by a quiet realisation
Comes that ****** question
The one I always hated to hear.
"Do you think anyone will miss me when I'm gone?"
Of course they will
Still, I'd rather they don't
I know in your arms, I am wanted
And yet, I already feel guilty enough
From stealing the air from your lungs
Glancing upon the smile on your lips
I never deserved a thing.
So please, don't think of me kindly
Just bid me a goodbye
That will be enough for this weary soul
Don't love me at all, let me rest in peace
I shall offer you one last comfort
As the world fades away,
And the months bleed out
Leaving a shadowy, crimson splash
Blooms across pale skin, lines across the road
I breathe my final words
"It wasn't your fault."
But who really believes that, right?

Say goodbye to someone
The person I used to be
With feelings I will miss dearly
Remaining stagnant, void of change
So many emotions running wild
Deep in my veins, they smile
Waiting for the day
I can go out with my sorrow
And bid that wretched thing
Finally, a blessed farewell—
Any day now, it'll be my time.

I don't know what to do
It's just a cycle, this misery
Hoping things get better, but they get worse
Without you, my life has no meaning
Lingering quietly, as I wait for the end,
I mourn my past feelings of happiness
I miss being younger, letting go of those carefree memories
I miss my friends, and how things used to be
I know some things can't stay the same forever,
But am I so wrong for wishing they would just remain as it is?
And for one day, I can convince myself with this foolish lie—
That everything will be okay again.

the erasure of a life i could have loved
but the most horrifying thing was never remembering
looking at things that arent quite right
smiling at people who arent quite there
questioning a scene that was never lived in
slow, drips of crimson seep through my skin
blooming across my chest, red angry streaks
a long ago, they meant something to me
but now, i dont know.
and i cant remember who
or what i was ever meant to be
now im stuck rotating, spinning around the clock
watching the hours tick by
forgetting, waiting for the inevitable end
looking for a memory of someone i used to see.

i might have skipped a few lines
sorry, maybe, i couldn't quite tell
can you really this living?
not knowing, not remembering
forgetting the place where you stand
im dancing along the edge
of a room i cannot cross
waltz across the cold, narrow distance
cutting these ties, fixing my knots
presenting a neat little bow
shipped to another, expelled wearily
while the tempo slows and closes
until there's nothing left but eternity
and everything meant something
to someone like you,
please just forget me.

The vioce cannot speak
Through tears the heart weeps, gentle
stars, the softest light