For a long time now, i’ve felt like i’ve been waiting.
To be let in on the secret,
To get it
To know what it seems everyone else already does. 
I’ve been walking towards the gap in the bridge with confidence that I will know how to get over it by the time I arrive
because I have seen everyone else on the other side.
but the closer I get
the more I feel as though i’m going to fall right through.

Sometimes I close my eyes while I walk. 
when I close them I can feel the entire daunting bridge disappear 
but as soon as I open them, it’s waiting in front of me 
and I will never know if it’s really gone when they are closed. 

But opening them to see where i’m headed makes me wonder
is someone responsible for telling me how to cross?
does everyone cross the same way, or am I being tested?
what happens when I fall through, 
for I surely can’t make it over.
why is it, that I feel such a strong need to get to the other side.
what do I expect to find at the end?

Mostly when I am afraid of crossing,
I consider that all the others who have already crossed, do not seem different from me.
if it was truly so difficult, they couldn’t have thought it so easy, right?
But every now and then, the ones who fell through, crawl from the shadows and creep close enough to whisper to me.
My body aches to run.
To turn around and go back where I came from
To never think about the bridge again
To convince myself that this is simply a vivid nightmare.

But it isn’t.
and if I know anything at all,
it is that one day, I will have to cross,
and that I can spend an eternity at the edge waiting for someone to tell me the answer.
to tell me how I can get over the gap in the bridge 
and to tell me what’s waiting on the other side.
to tell me what happens if I slip and fall 
or if I decide not to cross at all.
but if I do decide to wait,
eventually I will understand that no one is coming.
no one ever will.
and maybe it’s because no one else knows the secret either,
maybe even the ones on the other side are waiting for someone else.
and maybe, all along, there wasn’t anything to tell at all.