i don't feel like myself a lot lately
waking up confused, that's if I even sleep at all
having to remember where i am at and whats going on around me.
i seem to still function through the day ok
but i feel so dissociated from everything at the same time.
i don't know how to make sense of it all either.

i hate the fact i can't seem to explain whats going on inside me.
so many different things all at once
and i feel like i cant stop any of it.
yet still having to put on the smile
the everything is ok face
for the sake of others not asking questions
or telling me to snap out of it....

i feel like no words can describe what goes on inside me
the emptiness...the struggle to make it through the day.
i shouldn't have to fight so hard to just get through a normal day
(then again i don't believe "normal" exists)


i'm just tired...so very tired...