I don't need to list the reasons,
What I need is a reason not to.
You've heard me talk like this before.
And somehow my silence seems like a bandaid-
Like maybe if I just don't talk about it
Everything will get better.
Maybe if enough time passes,
It will all, eventually, heal.
But that is *******.
I don't need your permission,
**** forgiveness.
My intentions have their own agenda
But it's never hidden.
Quite the opposite- I'm plain sight.
Don't have to wait for night
To let the darkness take me.
I'm honest, open,
And honestly I'd rather be sleeping
In a closed casket; no one
Wants to see my blown off brain bits
And some teeth meshed with leftover tendonis threads
Dangling from my severed neck.
But those tooth shards are smiling-
The bandaid has been ripped off
The time has ran out,
Sand in my mouth.
Dirt where my eye sockets used to be.
This isn't me,
This whole "life" thing...
I don't need to list the reasons.

I never signed up for this ****-
Where do I **check out.