used to think I couldn't go a day
without your smile
without telling you things
and hearing your voice back.
Then, that day arrived and it was so **** hard
but the next was harder.
I knew with a sinking feeling
it wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event.
It doesn't just happen once.
It happens over and over again.
I lose you  every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug:
whenever that one song plays on the radio,
or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.
I lose you every time I think of kissing you,
holding you, or wanting you.
I go to bed at night and lose you,
when I wish I could tell you  about my day.
And in the morning,
when I wake and reach  for the empty space across the sheets,
I begin to lose you all over again.