i am not sorry
for the times i tried to hold your hand
only to have you push me away.
i will not apologize
for the moments that i spent
sleeping on your porch
knocking at your door
begging you for something more.

i did not want to be a passing craze.
a seasonal fashion statement.
the tweed coat clinging to your chilly ribs.
i was supposed to be eternal,
i was going to serve my time.

a lifetime
of all the times i'll never say i'm sorry
for the ways i could never let you go.
for the drunken nights of
"i just had to let you know"
150 character texts,
i am not sorry i got so desperate
there at the end.

i will not apologize for your tireless hole,
or your insatiable itch.
i will not apologize for my inability
to fulfill any of it.