I saw them making plans without me and all I could think of was how the history has repeated itself. I was left out in the first grade then in the fourth grade then in the ninth grade, and now, I'm in the eleventh grade and no one seems to give a **** about my fading light. I honestly can't blame them for leaving me to stand here all by myself because that's just me -- unwanted and uninteresting -- but I wonder how everything happened so fast. Just four months ago life was bearable and I had more than one person texting me all night; something that I couldn't even imagine. I took a long car drive with people I was gladly to call friends and we did stuffs that every normal, undamaged teenager would do; something that I'd never felt before. I even had my first kiss on February and it was overwhelming, all those feelings of "you're wanted" and "I got your back" and "we'll all stick by your side." But it's not February now, it's October, the month where the leaves fall and apparently, so does my happiness. I keep seeing them making plans without me and I just can't stop thinking of how easy it is for people to find me boring and dull. I don't know whether to curse them or myself. I didn't know that happiness could find its way out of my life. I thought I had gotten better, but apparently I still drag the black hole behind me.