Everything around me Keeps me coming back to you. I'm a lost puppy Wandering in the woods And I'm a hopeless case When you're not around. And I can't tell if this is admirable Or sick but I'm only happy by your side. The anxiety boils in my veins And taints my mind When you're so far away. I fear for your safety daily Because of past violences And pill poppers And self destroyers; You're the only sane person I know in this world. My guardian angel, My one and only Savior and protector.
I pretend to be a hardass by cutting my hair short And smoking a cigarette a second But it's only becaue Bruce Willis was safe Climbing vents is Die Hard So long as he had a gun in one hand And an import smoke Twisted in the knuckle of the other. I am a lost transmission And all of these words Are just different combinations of twenty six letters That could never encompass all you mean to me.
I am not a hardass, I'm a pop princess Longing for a God But I am too intelligent to believe in one.
When did it become the norm for teens To turn into Holden Caulfields And when did I realize at first That I see things other don't And often suffer because of it? It's like when I walked out of that theatre tonight I was reminded what real life was And promptly found myself again at the hand of anxiety.
I am not a monster But this is a rant Because I can't go a day Without wondering why I'm still here. With me It is no depressive item, I am only wanderlost. How do people live past 25 When the world I live in is demented And scary And I am so, so Small.
I breathe. I am released. But the air I fill my lungs with is heavy like lead And I can only picture myself Sinking to the bottom of the lake Because my boots are too heavy And I have decided to dive in headfirst.
I am a fool. I am a disgusting imagined facet And I am lost. I am not thinking rationally tonight And for that I thank only God Himself Because I know He's ******* me up for a reason But that reason might as well be for naught.
For I am no saint, But a sinner. Yes, I give little girls faith in themselves By explaining to them that just because They are ten years old That does not mean they are not kick *** people Because MegaMan was ten When he was trying to ignore ****** puns from Cutman And the same idiosyncrasies And the same existentialist suicidal ideals I try to ignore today.
I told my father today That I wish I would have tried ditching school Because then I would have felt as though I had Even the smallest bit of control over my fate. But I am so, so Small.
I know the school And everyone in it Would not have noticed me go.
I know the world And everyone in it Would not notice me if I were to go.