The living legend is ****** into a rut of pining for his splendid playwright
She was his everything
A new breed of woman
No societal entourage could compare
No jovial jubilee could top her
Her humongous measure of perplexity
Her grace
Her charm
Her mystery

He now despises himself for this moment of nostalgic weeping
The mucus makes it hard for him to breathe with his deviated septum
He looks for something to alleviate his sniffling
And eviscerate all his emotional anguish
Nasal spray and bourbon
He can breathe but the alcohol only exacerbates the visceral issue
And dampens his already flaccid spirit  

Clouted with the disheartening reminder that it wasn't all her fault
He fumbles with the bottle while retracing the event in his mind

"It was the golden age of bronze metals"
"She was asked to do as she was told"
"A white lie"
"A foul up"
"An accusation"
"An accessory to ******"
"Madcap ad libbed alibis and recounts verbatim"
"She turned on them, they killed her"

The bourbon was gone, his nose was stuffed again
Wheezing, gagging, crying  

What's the word for when a living legend wants to die?