It's the waiting...
chest still heaving
heart still beating waiting
the long, hot days spent in stress
and even longer nights
and the choosing...
to live in it
the pulse causing goosebumps on dry skin
the sigh giving way to sobs and fright
caught up quickly once in sight
of that little person watching cartoons.
It's the feeling...
every breath and beat and pulled heart string
every guilty shuffle
every fluttered eye
feeling the wind like a knife in my back...
the weight of the dishes and laundry stacked

and the air in here gets thick
with children running and screaming and needing

and I
just keep breathing.
Taking one breath,
one step,
one thought,
just being.