i do not write in pencil
  it's all written in real
no pattern, no stencil,
  hand drawn hard feel

inhale exhale
  whatever air is available
words need breaths to exist
  yet breathless i persist

never been in a band
  my words never heard
left to hold my own hand
  trying to unthink my words

no eraser available
(though noe is erased & dull)
so i babble feeble
  (though no words escape my skull)

eyes blink
  to rid themselves of the red
but don't disguise a think
  cuz the lids are hiding brain-dead

can you breathe underwater
  believing she's oxygen for you
can you breathe when you want her
  but she's allergic to you

soft socks should soothe a soul
  on a cold night in a Shannon cuddle
and be the only thing worn on the morning
  where we have each other waking for moaning

i thought She Loved me deeply
  NEEDED me
    (**** found there were cracks in our foundation)
i believed we were US forever
  walked the waking dream of our Love Affair
    (**** learned she could lose the fascination)

i was in LOVE
  She was dating
i found The One
  She was just dating

February 3rd came & went
  harbringer of the death of clint
March 8th was the final ****
   of the last of my living will

been in a haze of agony
  where my own jester hates me
i wake daily in a daze of disbelief
  to a nightmare real with no relief

my tears don't fall
  they flow
strong & steady
acidic yet empty
and their side-show-bob
  is the echo of my sobs

i keep writing poem after poem
  of pain
    PAIN

when the only poem i've ever wanted to write
  is the one She wants to re-read every night