All this time, I kept a fair distance
to the things that might give much more
of what they call pain. Until
I learned, how to permanently
(or so I thought)
carve them onto a
hidden translucent white wall
reminding me that they're
always there, lurking.

Years have passed and I have gone mastered
the art of feeling nothing
(or pretending not to).

So, when you came along,
with all the glory of your humanity
and the realness of your skin
touching with mine,
(remember those things I've carved?)
they escaped like the wall had broken down
fallen down
the way I fell for you -
little by little, inch by inch
piece by piece,
me by me.

All those fears that I tried to run away from
were all stitched with your love
and I can't love you
if they're with you
but I still did. And I still will.

Even if it throws me to the oblivion
of my own sacrilegious fears,
when the ransom for all those pain
and hurt
and suffering I will get
is the infinite taste
and satisfaction of my desires
by your love.

*By your only love.