The first time I smoked a cigarette I felt the exhilaration of putting it to my lips Sharp inhalation followed by sputtering coughs Barely managing to pull in an even breath Followed by a head rush My stomach tied in knots and I questioned whether or not I would be sick But I persisted, and choked it down
Eventually I got used to the taste I grew to rely on the way my world would stop My head swam, and time slowed down My anxious mind was eased, if only for a moment I craved it more than oxygen
I knew that it would be the death of me Yet I couldn't walk away I spent money I didn't have, just to get one more taste I lost who I was to what I thought I needed
Such was loving you
Time went on and it strangled me I felt like I could hardly breath
There is no nicotine patch for loneliness And the nights of missing you still make me shake But loving you was smoking