When am I permitted
to forget? When can I bury these memories?

The ones where you laughed, as I used to
Ones where you trembled in anticipation
before those shakes became
gut-wrenches

The ones where I overheard your men
who said you begged of God
over
and over
To let me forget you
as you had to forget me
amidst the smoke, ash, clicks and debris

And I wish I hadn't received that letter with
those unofficial Last Words
your comrade heard

Those weren't the ones I wanted most
they didn't set me free
I needed your: "I'm coming home"
You belong right here with me

And I wish I could forget
that there are memories
I can't remember

but with the truth of time
I've come to know
We were never One
Because Your Face
blurs
when my memories stir

And my tears are for the grave
you share
with another man
and a foot


I am thankful that the rows of crosses
have no faces

If I saw your face, I would beg for mercy
I'd plead anything to forget
that
I can't remember your eyes
or laugh

What I recall is a hollow man who screams.
Your voice that whispered
It's all a dream
is drowned out by that bellowing

And I can numb my eyes
to those images
but the knowledge still burns

Because I wish I could forget
that there are memories
I can't remember




                                         *What I recall is that you left
                                          on the eighth of November