Twenty-nine scars
Twenty-nine lessons I have learned
Twenty-nine reasons why I am now a warrior
Instead of a worrier

I craved the blade to ride across my skin
Slicing open that first layer
To let free the blood that cried for an escape

This was my way to deal with the pain
Because I thought it was the only answer
To deal with my fear, my worries, my loneliness, and my insecurities

These scars aren't just from kissing the blade
I had another love from the plastic cuticle pusher
With a metal end
And the lighter I ignited to heat it up

I was convinced that physical pain
Could fight off emotional pain
But if seen by those I love
Then those scars from the physical pain
Would only bring them emotional pain

I am sorry

This is not wanted
I do not deserve this
No one at all deserves this

Pain I sense
Will be pain I will approach
Pain I can find
Will be pain I will fight

These are twenty-nine scars
Twenty-nine reasons why I deserve to live
Twenty-nine causes of self-love