I have never felt small. Even when I was little I was always fat. I never remember Being referred to as "little." My brothers They always called me fat My friends, too And I was always too tall Just too big, in general And I hated it Still do Cause all my friends, They're ******* tiny And they complain. "Oh, this [insert name of clothing] It makes me look fat." Or "I need to lose weight I'm at 130 now." Or the classic, "My [insert body part] is too fat." It makes me want to strangle them Cause they have no idea What it feels like To have the only color you look good in Be the color black And be labled As "gothic" or "emo" Because you can only wear black. They have no idea What it feels like To be anxious around scales Or anything that has a weight limit They have no ******* clue. And my name? I get called "****** Felicia" Or "Felicia the ******" sometimes Cause of how big I am And I ******* hate it! No one knows How much I hate myself Because of my weight And how insecure I am about how big I am It is seriously why I wish I wasn't me It makes me wish I was someone else And it always has Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to be littler Skinnier. Just anything But "too big."