Our bodies Are really just galaxies Held together by bone and flesh. My thoughts are stars. But How can you expect me to Recognize the constellations That they could potentially form When I’ve always ****** At thinking linearly?
Hell, I have a hard enough time Remembering That I am still alive. I dropped a plate today- That promptly shattered- Because For that very instant I didn’t exist.
I think
Maybe I was born To self-destruct Quite like The most massive suns In our universe Detonate Into supernovae.
One of these days Out of the blue My chest is going to start Caving in And my arms and legs will contract And finally I’ll flood out into the open- I always did tell you My heart was an ocean Filled so full that it’s Ready to erupt.
Well once I’ve emptied My heart My body And my mind Maybe Just maybe I’ll find the strength To reconstruct this galaxy.
But I’d probably need some Major work. I need help untangling these veins. Someone Just give me A diagnosis Because My lungs should work Just fine But I just CAN'T BREATHE- Surely there are vultures flying around Grating my insides. I want you to rewrite my skin Dig up the graveyards In my skeleton And maybe Help settle some of these ghosts. I just wanted- So desperately- For you to find a home Somewhere near my heart That I tried stitching a home Into my ribcage But the seams are jagged And tender And it feels like they’re leaking All the ******* time But no matter what- Whenever I check my lesions- They’re healing.
Hopefully, My structures Will last longer This time Around the bend.
Because unless You have your own scars, You’ll probably Never understand mine.
But we all do something.
You can’t fathom the leagues Of deep dark arctic water that churn Just under my crust Or the monsters Surfing the waves Because They tell you to drown your demons But I’m pretty positive Mine have known how to swim From the beginning.
You don’t see The stress and anxiety That pumps around Through my blood Igniting my body And effectively silencing me.
Please don’t touch me Not until you understand That sometimes All I am capable of felling Is needles and razors. The added pressure Of your feather light touch Might just Cause a cave in.
Please don’t Love me Until you Recognize That I do not love myself But I AM trying.
For the longest time I’ve been so concerned That You might start Seeing me The way I see myself But something really Kind of funny happened (I think) I’m starting To see myself The way you see me.
My skin Has been left to rot Too many times And WOW- That really hurts. My cells Is still in the process Of growing back But it’s still so sensitive.
I’m swallowing Your forgiveness Because I need it For my own. I cannot Excuse Myself- Not anymore.
There is No such concept As ‘Beautifully broken’ Some of us Are just better than others At clutching Bleeding seams.