Maybe im not as healed as i thought i was
anger wells up inside of me
as i ease through my memories that i have so longingly tried to erase
denial and shame have driven me away
"they loved me, so they wouldn't hurt me"
is what i used to so innocently feel
but now i dig for meaning of my past
and i see what is real
the brokeness was all around me
those who hurt me were hurting too
only a band-aid could cover the pain temporarily
but then its ripped off with every scorn or reality that is spit at me
"how am i supposed too help others if i cant help myself"
is what i think now
am i pitying myself
am i being sensitive like i have always been
i feel that nobody understands
neither do i
i cant escape the pain, anger, and shame
i hold inside