I used to think knowing God
Was sitting in church pews,
Reciting prayers,
And following rules,
That you could only find Him
In the shaming of the sinful
Controlling your thoughts,
Never questioning anything;
Not your faith,
Not your Pastor,
And certainly not Him.
But church pews tired my eyes,
And reciting prayers didn’t make my heart feel,
Following all the rules was restricting.
Shaming the sinful, well that was easy,
But it doesn’t mean it felt right.
Controlling my thoughts was impossible altogether,
And never questioning anything left me
Panicked
And scared.

But I still found God.

I found him in the city of New Orleans,
In a sea of thousands I never felt more intimate with Him
I saw him staring at me,
In the gleaming eyes of children,
And holding my hand
Through the trials I still face today.
I see him in eyes of the homeless beggars,
Walking on the streets with nothing to eat,
He's in my actions when I help the people
I have always despised.
I feel his presences always,
Filling me with hope and light.
I talk to him with tear stained cheeks
And white knuckles gripping the steering wheel,
And just because it’s not with my hands pressed together
And knees on the ground,
Doesn’t mean it’s nothing.
I have found God,
In places unexpected,
And that has given me light.