You know,
We may both be Neptune’s daughters-
Free and extravagant little fish flaunting their scales-
But maybe our hearts exist in separate parts of the ocean.
So much for being my “other half”.

See
Because you lie on beaches in California
And I’m burning my skin
Trying to get rid of this chill
So we can live in the same world.
Because I thought that
Maybe
Just maybe,
We could both
Meet somewhere in the middle
But now I’m pretty sure you just
Didn’t want that.

See
Because there’s no way to make you love me,
No number of
Poems I write,
Songs I sing,
Or beautiful words I conjure for you.
You do not love me
But man I loved you
But I don’t anymore.

See
Because there was something truly
Enchanting about drowning with you.
And really, I’m so happy you found solid ground,
But by god, I can barely see you on the shore,
From this far out at sea.
And now I’m terrified,
Petrified like a bit of driftwood,
Because what if my good
Can’t overcome my slights and I sink
Like dead weight,
Like an anchor pitched into the depths.
Because after all this time,
You just don’t feel like swimming out
To save me anymore?

See because
In a lot of ways
This love was a lot like art.
It could have saved me,
It could have set me free,
Doubtless would’ve hurt,
Maybe even destroyed me.
Because after all this time,
And through this winter,
I think my hearts finally frozen solid again
And the sharp bits of crystal ice floating around me
Are cutting my skin
And gouging out my insides
Enough to make me sink.

I have been discarded
By the ones that I love,
But
That does not mean that I will let down
Those who love me
Because survival is bitter and cold
Like the stagnant coffee
At the bottom of this shot glass
Or the day old corpse in my closet.