My head says
"Leave before the floor disappears
Before you wake up
With nothing but splinters
And a mouth full of questions
You already know the answer to"
My heart says
"Wait
He’s just tired
He’s just busy
He’s just trying to find the words"
Hasn’t he had enough time?
“I don’t know”
It’s a language you’ve
Decided to live in
While I’m translating
Myself into nothing
My spine folds in
My ribs start counting the days
Without you in them
I try to remember your voice
Without the hesitation
But all I hear is the pause before
“I don’t know”
I’m holding the door open for
Someone who can’t even
Look at the room
I’m swallowing glass
Calling it patience
And every piece cuts deeper
When I tell myself you’re worth it
My head says
"This isn’t love anymore
This is erosion
This is weathering yourself down
To fit a space that’s already empty"
My heart says
"No
Remember his hands
Remember the way he made the world Small enough to hold
Remember how you’d do it all again"
I think about next week
The way you’ll look at me
And say it again
And my chest will cave
And my eyes will sting
And maybe that’s the last time
Or maybe I’ll let it be another

"I don’t know"

"I don’t know"

"I don’t know"

And it’s killing me that
Neither do you