Dear future self, we’ve made it this far, haven’t we? If I had written to you ten years ago, it wouldn’t have sounded like this. I would’ve tried to explain who I was, outline the path that led to you, the way a student writes an essay— structured, unsure, incomplete.
But you know enough now to read between the lines, and browse through my mistakes, that fell like heavy rain from the sky. I hope that the ghosts of the past have finally been set free, and they don’t haunt you in the midnight air the way they are haunting me.
Did you get some of the things I’ve spent years aching for? Answers to the never-ending whys— why I keep repeating patterns, why I stay when I should leave, why I doubt what’s already mine? Did you find confidence that isn’t choked by fear? And love— not the kind you read in stories, but the kind that lets you heal.
I don’t expect letters gift-wrapped remedies for the ache, but please— don’t think less of me for walking through the fire when I could’ve turned away.
I’m looking forward to meeting you. Not for answers— but just to see who survived. If you’re still standing, then maybe so am I.