Were you looking for someone to love?
Somewhere to sink your teeth?
Little strangles of baby's breath,
excited in the shadows.
An epiphany to undo?
Was I so easy?

Where I come from the dead watch over us;
we sing our names until they're one.
The women hunt with dogs and carry guns,
and the stars shimmer at night.
I forgot all this power inside me.

A shock of flatteries—
the peacock feathers of psychopaths.
Poisonous things are colorful,
flowers full of hooks, hot pearls around the neck;
love bombs of mass destruction.
We danced and danced around the shiny red button,
high on the dark, afraid to see the light.

Remember the pink rabbits,
throwing them at my feet,
their veiny little ears?
Killed what you could to frighten me!
And the honey *** of promises?
Using the bees against me.
My own ***, really?
You couldn't get the honey;
the honey was a lie.

Just because you want it doesn't make it so.
Did no one ever tell you no?
You think you hold the power
when you take the queen—
you wish... chess is a man's game.
Infinity can shift in a moment.
I have become bored of bee stings,
and violent kisses on the mouth.

Clarity is harder than denial.
I admit, it took me a while.
Fixation, denigration, isolation,
then utter destruction.
War is a breathtaking art.
I stand in awe of your strategy.
I gave you my sweet little head on a platter.
Perversions burned away the sugar and spice.

But I am not made of everything nice.
When I am myself,
I do not lie down with predators.
I'm made of mountain lions who turn and turn in circles,
churning to butter at my feet.
Where is the cream?
You're the spoiled milk, spoiled brain.
What made you so insane?

I fell for the uninvited vampire,
the blood-******* thief.
How dare you terrify me with your dogs?
I feed them honey—a gift from the bees.
Allegiances change, Shadow Man.
You can't come to my window anymore.
Now your dogs will **** for me.

Am I still pretty?

I call on my grandmothers, collecting the pooled power.
I am back, a dripping goddess with guard dogs,
not safe to touch or get too close.
A weapon of mass destruction,
I control my own atoms, a nuclear flinch.
Your cold war turns and turns, in circles at my feet.
I lick the butter from my fingers.
Do you still like me?
Am I still easy?

You are the epiphany.