I think he was right
When I said I wanted to stand on the roof,  
he said he'd push me off.  
Then he smiled.  
I guess that’s funny.  
What do I know?  

Does that translate to "**** myself?"

It’s been years.  
I should be over it.  
But I still run from anyone  
who tries to get close.  
It’s been years,  
and I genuinely hope  
he’s happy with her.  

I just wish I understood why—  
he hated me so much,  
when I gave my all,
trying my best  
amidst the chaos.  

It was all my fault

I just wish I understood why—
Did he have to toy with me
when I expressed my fear of falling?
Why couldn’t I walk away

Maybe I was just that desperate
for connection
How utterly pathetic

It’s been years.  
Why am I still trash,  
causing problems—  
everywhere I go?  

And I don’t know.  
From time to time,  
That moment haunts me
Is that why I fear the heights?  
Or have I always feared the fall?  

I know  
I’ve earned the pain.  
It's all my fault
Maybe one day,  
I’ll learn not to fear the heights anymore
and perhaps then,  
I’ll be able to fall...

Well, you know...
We’ll see.  

Maybe I'll smile