when i wake i battle with thoughts that cloud my eyes dewy from tears i am utterly and totally drenched in sadness
when i rise i do what i can to make a cup of coffee let the dogs out brush my teeth and go to work
(clockwork)
life cycles through waves of feeling this way and that never quite being able to grasp on to a specific emotion to describe how i am feeling like how i can wake this way and lay my head down to sleep feeling something close to hopeful ready to rise again and the thoughts no longer exist in the morning
i find myself very odd but people don't get to hear this side of me mostly because they don't ask but i don't mind
(clockwork)
i have seen terrible days i have seen days filled with miracles i have seen days that are bleaker than bland but i would prefer to have the days of feeling something than nothing at all so i push forward take my medication go to my therapist and go to church
sometimes i wonder if God knows the inner workings of my thoughts as well as the Devil a baptism could never submerge my thoughts yet i sing on praising Him
what i do know is whether i am up or i am down i am here