I hate that I’m not stronger
I hate that I’m so scared
I hate the control that you still have
I hate that I still care
I hate that I can’t cut you off
That my lips can’t say goodbye
I hate that you still make me laugh
I hate that you still make me cry.
I hate that the only time I write
Is when I’m writing about you
That after everything that’s happened
Your love is still my muse.  
I hate the fact that I still love you
Even if it’s not the same
I hate that we’re in this ******* mess
And I’m the one to blame.
But mostly I wish I hated you
As much as I hate me
Cause maybe then I would be happier
Maybe then I’d finally feel free.