I don't know how to write this
So I'll be honest
I'm not diagnosed
But sometimes I get sad
Really sad
My body is heavy
I drag myself out of bed
I randomly cry
But the water is scolding
It's a comfort
So it's ok
And I stick to my routine
As best I can
While I try to stop
everything everyone's ever said about me
Ruminating in my head
They don't like the shows I watch
They don't understand
I watch them over and over and over and over
To alleviate the loneliness
Because I'm lonely
I've always been lonely
I should be used to it
But I'm starving
For affection, for care
They say
I'm seeking attention
I'm fishing for compliments
But I just want someone to talk to, I'm trying
I know I'm selfish
I know others have it much worse
I shouldn't feel this way
I know
But I do
I'm scared I'll lose the few people I have left
I can take the harsh words
It's just a truth
I'm stupid, I have to work harder
I'm ugly, do I look ok in a mask?
I'm borning
I'm pathetic
I'm not enough
I'm tired
And sad
Been thinking of joining a club
I'm almost 27
It'll be a simple celebration
I doubt anyone will remember
They never do
It'll be fun
And maybe I'll be content :)